ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ | ᴀɴ ᴇᴅᴅsᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ғᴀɴғɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ (ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇᴅ!)

【18 - A】

It all started August of 2012
Tamara woke up to an empty bed. Again. She sighed and sniffled a bit. Tamara didn't know why but for some reason, Tori was always out. She never did anything with her much and the one thing that hurt Tamara the most, was the fact that she wouldn't say “I love you” back anymore. Tamara felt like she was doing everything, like she was the one actually in a relationship. Putting in all of her effort to keep them together. Tori isn't even calling her pet names anymore. Tamara loved those. She never understood why as to the fact that Tori just stopped. She became more distant lately and was always “working on something important.” But what about Tamara? Wasn't she important? Didn't Tori ever take a moment to stop and think about the woman she loved? That is, if she did love Tamara. Tamara sniffled again, a tear rolling down her cheek. She never told Tori anything. Not what she felt, not how she was, not how she was sick and tired of seeing Tori go, and definitely not how she wanted to break up. She just thought their relationship was a little shaken and they'd fix it, that's all. She told Matilda everything like she usually did. She couldn't tell Ell. Tori and Tamara decided it was best to keep their relationship to themselves. Matilda found out one day and Tamara's been telling her shit ever since. Mostly because she wouldn't remember. Or at least Tamara thought she wouldn't. When aprroaching Matilda with her issue, Matilda responded, "Tam, you need to stop letting this man walk all over you. If you have an issue, then you have an issue. Just say something." Matilda was right. Tamara did have an issue. Many issues with how their relationship was turning out. She remembered the night when Tori came back drunk and just immidiently pinned her to the wall and forced herself onto her. Like the usual routine, they had sex and Tori didn't say anything. In fact, now that Tamara realized it, they had sex a lot more frequently now. She didn't like being touched only for it to be sexual. She wanted a kiss, a hug, a kind gesture, real love. Not just make outs, sex, and drinks.
Tamara wiped her  tears with her wrist. She stood up and slowly walked out of the room. She took a deep breath and sighed. Today would be the day Tamara has finally had enough. She'd put his foot down and stare into the face of a snake. But she didn't know that yet.
Tamara walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She proceeded into the kitchen and decided to make some eggs for breakfast. She walked over to the stove and grabbed a pan hanging from the rack. She rummaged through the fridge to look for some eggs. She grabbed two and started to work-I mean, cook. "Hey Tam." Tamara turned around to see Matilda standing in the archway. "Oh hey Maddie." Tamara replied quietly. Matilda walked over and grabbed some bread, placing them into the toaster. Tamara sighed. "Are you okay?" Matilda asked. "Y-Yeah I'm fine.." Tamara replied. Matilda grabbed Tamara  by the shoulders and turned her so that they were facing each other. She squished Tamara's cheeks and frowned. "You look sad." she stated. Tamara nodded. "That's because I am sad." she replied.
"This better not be about Tori."
"It is! I-I'm mad, I'm fed up, I'm s-sick and tired.. I want to break up with Tori but I-I don't know how.."
"Tamara.."
Both Matilda and Tamara turned their heads to see Tori standing there, in the archway. Matilda let go of Tamara's cheeks and whispered, "There's your chance" before leaving the room.

"So you wanted to break up with me?" Tori asked. Tamara sighed. "Tori I-I don't know..maybe we should talk somewhere more private.." she muttered. "No." Tori responded, "Talk to me. Here." Tamara exhaled nervously. "I-I.." she stuttered. Tori huffed. "How about we start with the fact that you want to break up with me?" she asked. Tamara groaned. She sighed. "I do but I don't. I-It's complicate-"
"-Complicated!? How is telling someone you wanted to end the very thing that puts us together complicated!? Why not just tell me you hate me and spare me the pain."
"Tori please-"
"-Please what? Please, “I did not mean it.” Please, “you do not understand?” Tam, I actually care about us. You just want to end it all like it means nothing to you!"
"Did you not hear me!? I said I didn't know how! Tori I-I love you but I feel like I'm putting up all the effort to keep this relationship."
Tori scoffed and turned. Tamara sighed. She hung her head and tears fell down her face. "I'm sorry Tori. I just don't think we're meant for each other anymore. You're always at some place you won't tell me about, and lately, it seems like all you want is action." she said, slowly walking up to Tori. She placed a hand on her shoulder and Tori slapped her hand away. "Of course." she said, "Of course you feel like you are doing everything. I am the one who is doing everything!"
"Yeah? Well, “me too” isn't the kind of thing you say to a person after they tell you they love you about a thousand times!"
"You are so selfish! I am doing my best and you want more! Always thinking about yourself."
"I'm thinking about myself!? Of course constant sex is the one thing I want! Tori, what happened to you. You're different."
"I am the same person Tamara."
"No. Tell me. Tell me why you decided to go. Tell me why you just pretended to love me for all these years, just so you could do this to me.."
Tamara sniffled and wiped her tears. She looked back up at Tori and stared into her eyes. "Tell me the truth.." she begged. Tori sighed, she was still angry. "I used you." she answered. Tamara felt like her heart shattered into a million pieces. Like her world came crashing down on her. "What...?" she whispered. "I used you." Tori repeated.
"No. No, no, that-that's a lie..you wouldn't do that.."
"Sadly I did. I used you for sex. You were just so easy, and I knew I wanted to have something from you. I only used you because I knew I could not get pregnant if I had sex with another woman. So there. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Tamara's facial expression turned from sad and shocked, to mad in an instant. She slapped Tori across the face and glared at her. "I trusted you!" she exclaimed, "And you do this to me?! How could you!?" Tamara slapped her again. "You asked for the truth Tamara. So I gave you the truth." Tori said all too casually.
"Do you even care about me at all?!"
"..Do you even want me to answer that?"
Tamara cried and slapped Tori once again. She hung her head. "I can't believe I fell for that shit.." Tamara mumbled under her breath, "Fuck you! You know what!? I didn't know how to break up with you before but now I fucking do!" Tamara punched Tori in the stomach. Tori groaned and clutched her stomach. "I gave you everything! My time, my life, my money, even my fucking virginity! How dare you!" Tamara panted and stood there, tears streaming down her face. She had a minor flashback of all the times she and Tori had sex. Not once did Tori every tell her she loved her. Not once did she stay to help her. Not once did Tori ever cuddle, or snuggle with her. Tamara was always stuck by herself. In a lonely bed, in a lonely room.
With no one to love.
Tamara blinked and more tears poured down her face down onto the floor. She hung his head in shame. How has she not noticed this before? How has she become so small and so weak and so vunerable? She slowly put a hand to her heart. "You lied to me..you lied to my face.." Tamara spoke quietly. Tori watched and nodded slowly. "I did." she said. She crouched down to Tamara's height and cupped her face. "Love is a setback Tam." she explained, "I could not let you get in the way so I had to..tire you out. You see Tamara, what I am working on is very important." Tamara raised her hands and slowly removed Tori's hands from his face. She didn't have the right to touch her like that. So soft and caring. She gave her many other oppertunities. "And you didn't bother to tell me.." Tamara whispered. Tori nodded. "Sometimes you have to do what you have to do." she replied.
"I thought-I thought you loved me..."
"I did-"
"-Get out."
Tori did a double-take. "What?" she asked. "I said," Tamara started, "Get. Out." Tori stood back up and crossed her arms. She looked down at Tamara, unamused. "I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" Tamara shouted. Horns, fangs, claws, and a tail started to show. Her voice turned into a deep grumble and she looked up at Tori. "LEAVE! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!" Tamara yelled. Tori smirked. She put her hands in her hoodie pocket and walked toward the hallways. Tamara sighed and looked down at her hands. "I'm so stupid.." she whispered. Her monster attributes soon faded away and Tamara waited for Tori.
Some time after, Tori emerged from the hallway with her things. "You know you are making a big mistake Tamara." she said. "Shut the fuck up." Tamara mumbled. She pointed to the door and Tori shrugged. She picked up his things and left, shutting the door. Tamara stood there, silent. She teared up and ran to her room. She slammed the door shut and locked it. She looked around frantically. "Where is it, where is it!" she exclaimed. She found her old bottle of unfinished Smirnoff™ and popped the top off, taking a swig. She leaned on her nightstand and sighed. She didn't sit on his bed because it still smelt like Tori. "I fucking hate you.." she whispered to herself. She grabbed the photo she had of her and Tori. A polaroid. In Tamara's handwriting, “I will always love you.” Tamara cried silently and watched as the tears fell down onto the photograph. She placed it face-down onto the floor and slid down his nightstand, back facing it as she balled up and sobbed. She drank her Smirnoff™ and sighed.

"I fucking hate you.."