Logan Sanders One Shots

Hibiscus Tea

Based off of Penelope Scott's song Sweet Hibiscus Tea. ^ It's right above this text

Tw: Blood, feelings of uselessness, slight language

Logan watched as the other sides talked without him. They didn't even notice him standing there, watching as they laughed with each other.

A little known fact about Thomas' mind is that when a side wants to, they can listen to music without having to put on headphones or the like.

Logan switched through songs while sinking back down to his room. Eventually he found one he enjoyed called Sweet Hibiscus Tea. He hummed to it as he undid his tie and sat down on the bed.

"Here's the thing, I can't do anything right.

Try as I absolutely, totally might."

Logan quietly chuckled as he realised this song was more relatable than previously thought. Maybe music wasn't that bad after all. He could never do right by the other sides anyways, even if he tried so damn hard.

"The bones are melting, the skeleton is ash

The clavicle detaches and falls with a deafening crash"

Logan felt a tear trickle down his cheek, warm and wet. He brushed it away. Is that what happens to a side once it gets forgotten? That is going to be rather painful. Logan felt a stabbing pain in his arms. He looked down and saw his fingernails, sunken deep into his arm drawing blood. Logan realised he was clutching himself too tightly, and simply dropped his hands by his side as he continued to listen to the music.

"And I'm not your protagonist
I'm not even my own
I don't know anything
I don't even know what I don't know"

Logan's tears were flowing more freely now; how many times had the other sides told him he didn't know anything? Saying he wasn't smart for Logic? Roman was the protagonist.... Roman was the protagonist... Logan's breathing was unsteady.

"And if you look outside you'll see
Disintegrating trees
The artificial way the sunlight bounces
Off the waxy leaves"

Logan opened the window and peered outside. Sure enough, all the trees seemed so... dead. Most of the leaves were rotten and grey. Here in the mindscape, all the windows just led to the creativity twins imagination. They couldn't replicate what real trees were like.

Three knocks sounded at the door. Logan turned off his music. Pity. "Come in, whoever you are!" He shouted, rubbing away the tears and rolling down his sleeves. Patton opened the door and sat down next to Logan. "You okay?" Asked Logan, curious about why Patton was visiting him. Patton chuckled.

"I was going to ask you that. I haven't seen you in a while, are you okay?" Patton asked, patting Logan on the back. Logan flinched at every pat. He never got used to physical touch... Eventually Logan had enough and pushed Patton away. Patton fell onto the floor with a mighty crash. "Yes, I'm okay. Now can you go?!" Exclaimed Logan, coming out way harsher than expected.

He wanted to be alone to deal with his feelings. Patton got up, tears welling in his eyes. "Fine. I guess you don't need me then!" Patton said, sniffling, before walking out of the door and closing it behind him. Logan's song started playing again unprompted.

"My heart catches on every thorn
You're already halfway out the door."

Logan stretched out a hand to beckon Patton back, but it was too late. Chills wracked Logan's body, forcing him to drop to his knees. Logan looked up and saw a face in the window. It took Logan a couple minutes to recognise that face. "That's me? But... I look so old..." Logan said quietly, touching the face in the window.

"And I've never looked so old
And I have never been so cold"

Logan's body shook as he sunk into the bed. His sobs were muffled by his hands, straight over his mouth as if Janus was controlling his hands. Logan always kept his emotions to himself with the other sides, but he couldn't control them in his room. His eyes seeped tears as he curled up, rocking slowly back and forth.

What did he need? What could make him feel better? Logan wondered, raking his fingernails down his leg. It ripped his leg open, but he didn't care. Do I need to do more work? Probably not... What the hell do I need! Logan asked himself.

"And it is 85 degrees
I don't know what I need"

Logan sighed. Maybe some tea would help? He thought to himself, grabbing his normal tie and placing it in its normal spot. It was around his neck, as tight as a noose. Logan's tide of tears ebbed slowly away. Logan wiped his face with a handkerchief. Hopefully I don't run into any sides. Logan turned off the music.

Logan opened the door and went upstairs into the main room. He paused at the entrance however. Patton was curled up on the couch, being patted by Remus. Logan brushed away a pinprick of sadness and grabbed some tea. He barely concentrated on the flavour; he just saw shaking and random colours, blurring together to make a rough estimate of the room.

He ran back to his room before Patton and Remus could notice, holding back his emotions. If I show emotions, they'll reject me even more. Logan placed the tea on the table beside the bed. Drinking it now would be foolish; it was still way too hot and would scald his tongue. He sat there, staring into the wall and thinking about could've beens and should've beens.

Logan realised he had been asleep when he woke up on the floor, his face pressed against the ground. He didn't remember fainting, and no one had come to help him. But that's fine, no one cared anyways :D Logan lifted himself up and plucked himself back onto the bed. Logan opened his phone and saw Sweet Hibiscus Tea was still paused. He pressed play.

"There's lukewarm herbal mango sweet hibiscus tea
On the hot garbage pile in which I fucking sleep"

Logan clenched his fists and unclenched them.

The walls are empty it's so ugly I could
Burn the whole place down
It wouldn't catch 'cause all the posters
Are on their way to my hometown

And I am not your protagonist
I'm not even my own
I don't know anything
I don't even know what I don't know
And if you look outside you'll see
Disintegrating trees
The artificial way the sunlight bounces
Off the glitching leaves

My wet heart catches on every thorn
You're already halfway out the door
And I'm so tiny and so old
And God it's never been so cold
And it is 85 degrees
I don't know what I need"

I hope you enjoyed. If you have any prompts or the like, you could put them in the comments and I'll do the best I can do write them out! :D

Word Count: 1163 words