Tommy boy | c.t.h AU

chapter 9

chapter 9- till forever falls apart ashe & finneas

"C'mon Adwin you have to try," Ms.Smith said in her disgustingly perky voice.

"I don't like bananas, I hate them so much. I'll literally try anything else,"

The room was bright like it usually was. She liked to keep the blinds open. She had one of those solar powered flowers on the windowsill. I watched it shake back and forth before the sound of her fingers snapping drew me back in.

"A mandarin orange then Adwin?"

I grimaced, "I don't like things I have to peel, especially oranges ma'am. I don't like the juice getting on my fingers and I don't like how the smell lingers, it literally makes me sick,"

"Okay but Adwin, you've gotta be a grownup now," She pushed both fruits on her desk towards me. Her voice was condescending, like I was some little kid.You know I get it, she usually specializes in kids seven and under. But she was pediatric, and I've been under 18 since this whole thing started.

You'd think it'd be easy. Just pick a fruit kid and move on. This however was not an easy decision for me. The orange and banana stared up at me and I could feel my insides start to turn. There was no good option. Bananas are too slimy and Oranges require too much hands on work. Just thinking about the scent of either of them made me wanna puke.

Ms.Smith still looked at me still like she was talking to a toddler. Fake enthusiasm dripped off her like sweat. Her dark brown braids let go a lot of fly-aways but she didn't mind. The smile lines on her face seemed to be sewn on she smiled so damn much.

I sat in her plastic chair with my arms crossed over my chest. We had a staring contest testing to see who would break first but we both knew she'd give in. The clock behind me ticked and I nearly lost it but she finally turned her head with a sigh.

Taking the fruits of her desk she put them back in a bowl, "Next time Adwin. We're trying to get you back into textures, please try with us," I nodded my head, my lips pressed in a straight line. I'd make no such promises to this woman.

"Have some grapes yeah?" She slid over a little pink plastic bowl filled with green grapes. I eyed them wearily.

"Are they from your fridge ma'am?"

She stood up now preparing for the end of our session. Shutting file cabinets, she replied over her shoulder,

"Yes they are Adwin,"

"Linda-"

"Eat please Adwin,"

And so I did.
—

I was pulling out of the clinic's parking lot when my phone started ringing over the bluetooth.

"Hello?"

"Hi Adwinnn,"

It was Mikey. I smiled even though he couldn't see me and continued to drive.

"Michael I miss you,"

His laughter echoed through the car. He always took sentimental statements and made them jokes. You know I assumed Michael loved me but he's never verbally said it.

"Let's hangout then? You and me sista," The giggles flowed out of me naturally as I pulled up to a red light.

"Mm let's go get milkshakes, with lots of toppings inside. Ms.Smith I have to try more textures,"

"You'll pick me up?"

"When have I not?"
—

I still had another therapy appointment before going to Mike's but this one went smoother than the last. I wasn't as upset and my therapist was much more understanding than Smith. Quite a few times she tried to poke me into speaking about my appearance though. What's with them and trying to get me to talk about my body? All of the specialists and doctors. I don't hate my body.