Let me in

Chapter 8 : So that it doesn't happen again.

Buck watches her for what seems like an eternity.

He sees only her.

Like a sparkly lighthouse in the middle of the sea. Like a single glittery star in the middle of a dark sky.

It shines, it attracts him, it calls him. He can't resist it, not now that it's right there in front of him. And he knows it, but he doesn't even care.

He made his decision the moment he grabbed his phone and dialed her number.

No, actually, that's not true.

He made his decision the day before. The moment Eddie left his apartment. Even the second he came out of the fog of his panic attack and realized where he was and who he was with.

He fell apart, in front of Eddie. In front of his best friend.

Yet he hadn't done that in so, so long. He always managed to hide, to hold back, until he was alone. So that no one could see him vulnerable and weak. So that no one could use it against him.

Yet it happened.

But it won't happen again. Now that she's here, she'll help him. And he doesn't want to give it up, rather, he will welcome her with open arms... So that it doesn't happen again.

So that it never happens again, in front of Eddie, or in front of anyone else.

"You're still with me, pretty heart?"

Buck took his eyes off her for a moment, to focus on Olivia, kneeling between his legs and working to undo his belt.

He was so fixated on her that he had momentarily forgotten about Olivia's hands on him.

He tried to keep his eyes on the redhead, but his gaze was constantly drawn to her.

Olivia finally follows his gaze and she lets out a slight laugh.

"You're in a hurry, huh?" She smiles as she looks up at Buck again.

Buck can only nod his head.

Because yes, he is in a hurry. Hell, he's probably never wanted anything as much as he wants this right now.

Olivia leans back, grabs it between her long, tattooed, manicured fingers and Buck swallows, his heart beating fast in his chest.

She's finally here. Within reach of his hands. His first true love. That precious, wonderful, undisputed white powder.

He watches Olivia open the bag and sprinkle it on one of his rectangular coasters, before drawing lines with a credit card in quick, expert strokes.

His mouth is already watering. He can almost feel the tickle and pleasant burn in his nose, just by looking at her.

"Have you ever taken any?" Olivia asks as she stands up and finally settles on top of him, her knees on either side of his thighs, holding the coaster in one hand like a glorious trophy.

Buck wants to laugh at that. He could, if only his skin didn't burn so much with desire and anticipation that it almost hurts.

For answer, his thumb runs over one of the lines, retrieving just enough to slide his finger between Olivia's lips and rub the tip on the inside of her lower lip and then on her gums.

Olivia gives him an appreciative look and imitates his actions a few seconds later.

Buck can't contain the sigh of contentment that escapes his lips when the powder is finally rubbed against his gums. The sensation is not really pleasant in itself; the aspect is grainy and it numbs his gums a bit but the aftermath... Hell, the aftermath is great.