Let me in

Chapter 15 : A hint of truth.

Robert Nash was never very good at pretending.

Or at least he was, but never for very long.

He couldn't tell if it was because he was a bad liar, or because denial was a temporary and illusory solution, or because God always decides to set the record straight, one day or another, no matter what.

Surely he should have learned his lesson by now.

Since that one time too many, when he looked his wife straight in the eye and swore he was still sober and saw in her eyes that his lie had just broken her.

But it didn't.

And once again, he preferred to convince himself that everything was fine.

That's why he didn't ask questions.

That's why he accepted this sudden leave.

That's why he spent the afternoon making chicken soup, a recipe from his mother that always comforted him when everything was cold, sad and dark.

The cluster of knots in his stomach should have been a good indicator.

But he ignored it.

And he walked in.

The silence in the apartment should have alerted him.

But he ignored it.

Eddie's presence in the middle of those steps, soaked to the bone, his frightened look, his panic visible from miles away...

This time, he could no longer ignore it.

Strangely, the knots in his stomach disappear.

He simply feels... numb.

"Bobby." Eddie gasps and looks overwhelmed.

Bobby can only sympathize.

Eddie has never looked overwhelmed. He always exerts unflinching control in his professional and personal life. It's his unflappable cool that makes him such a good firefighter. While that facade crumbles when he's alone, Bobby knows he strives to keep a straight face when he's around others.

Today, that's not the case.

The situation is different.

Bobby knows this.

"What are you--uh, what are you doing here ?" Eddie finally asks him, and he tries to smile, to keep up appearances.

But it's too late.

Bobby wants to tell him that he doesn't have to pretend anymore.

He clears his throat.

"I brought him some soup. But he probably won't be able to eat anything for the next few days."

Bobby sees how hard Eddie struggles not to utter a single wrong word.

He'd like to tell him that he doesn't have to.

"Buck is in the shower. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear you cooked for him but--"

"Eddie." He interrupts him.

Eddie swallows.

Bobby can see his eyes shining.

He'd like to tell him he doesn't have to hold back anymore.

And when his throat isn't so knotted, he finally feels able to tell him.

He doesn't have to pretend anymore either.

"You're not alone anymore. It's okay." He smiles, "Why don't you go put that soup in the fridge while I take care of him?"

Again, Eddie seems to be struggling with what he's supposed to or not supposed to say.