Love The Way You Lie

24. Choice

A voice was calling me. Bringing me back once again to reality. I opened my eyes as I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Emily..? Hello. I'm Doctor Harbour. You had a small accident and hit your head. Your panic attack caused you to fall and hit your head and you now have a mild concussion. Nothing big. I have a couple more tests to do and you should be out of here tomorrow morning!" He said looking at my chart and back at me.

"Who brought me here?" I asked, confused as I sat up on the hospital bed.

"A Mr. Tom Holland. My kid is a big fan of your boyfriend." He said as he raised his eyebrows with recognition.

"Yeah... he's great..." I said with a neutral tone.

"I'll go get them for you." He said as he left the room.

My eyes flickered as I was still adjusting to the bright neon lights. I felt nervous to see Tom and Sam. I thought back to what I had figured out while I was unconscious. I knew I needed to get away from everything and take some time to work on myself. That also meant, leaving Tom, Sam and the rest of the family. It would probably be one of the hardest things... but I had to do it. It was now or never. If I was to come out as Tom Holland's girlfriend, I knew that I would never be able to live my life normally. I needed to make sure I was fully healed and ready before taking that step. Which meant to leave... at least for a little while.

"Oh god! Emily! We are so sorry! We came to apologize for the STUPID fight and we found you and we—" started rambling Sam before I stopped him.

"It's fine... Sam... calm down. I'm ok. Where's Tom?" I said still weak.

"He's coming. He went to get some tea but I called him he's co—" he said before Tom bursted through the door with half empty tea cups due to spilling them as he was running.

"Baby..." he said as he rushed to me and took my face and kissed me with so much strength.

"Tom... I'm sorry I—" I started as tears were falling down my cheeks.

"No! I'm sorry... I don't know what got over me... over us. It was stupid. I was so scared that I was gonna lose you. I love you Emily with all my heart." He said before kissing me again, but softly this time.

"I love you, always have, always will..." I said crying as I weakly smiled at him while erasing the tears off his tired face.

"I'm sorry Miss..? We have your mother on the phone. Here." A nurse said as she passed me a phone.

"Thank you... umm... guys..? Could you give me a minute alone?" I asked shyly to Sam and Tom who were both sitting on my bed.

"Yes... we'll be outside." Said Tom as he kissed my head, leaving with Sammy.

I took a deep breath and expected my mom to sound angry but to my surprise, she sounded worried and sad? The reason to my surprise was due to the fact that every time I would get hurt, my mom would get angry, simply because she didn't know how to react and felt angry that I wasn't careful. It only meant she cared. When she was sad, it meant she was REALLY worried about me.

"Hi mom..." I said softly as I carefully brought the phone to my ear.

"Omg baby are you ok?! What happened?!", my mom yelled with pain in her voice.

"Mom! Calm down! I'm ok... I have a mild concussion.", I reassured her as I closed my eyes, my head still spinning a little.

"Emily, please tell me how you managed to hit your head that hard?!" She said now with a little bit of anger.

"I had a panic attack... and when I lost consciousness, I hit my head on the corner of the bed... but I'm ok mom... I'm just tired." I softly said as I was starting to get emotional.

"Alright... your dad and I are flying out tonight we should be there tomorrow afternoon." She sternly said as I could hear worry filling her heart.

"No! No! No! Mom! It's not necessary! Please don't! I'm fine! Please!" I quickly said as I knew what would happen if they were to come home. They would learn about Tom and make it a big thing and then start bossing me around. The reason I was still at my parents house and not in an apartment with Sam and Harry as they were soon planning to loan, was because my parents were barely there and I didn't have to pay rent.

"Emy! You're hurt! We can't just leave you alone at home like this!" She said with a motherly seriousness.

"I'm at the Holland's! I will be fine. Please do not worry mom." I repeated as I knew she would accept if I was to stay with them.

"Fine. Pass me the doctor please" she said strictly.

"Ok... i love you mom..." I weakly said.

"I love you too baby..." she sighed out.

I called the doctor and as he left the room, I started to remember the events pre my accident. Everything was slowly coming back to me. It was as if words were slowly associating themselves to sentences in my brain as the memories came piece by piece, form a picture. I had remembered the fight, the fact that I was frustrated at Tom and Sam and how I fell. After a couple minutes, the whole picture came together and tears fell down my cheek at the memories of my words and my actions from earlier. I was still a bit tense at how the two brothers had reacted but I was mostly ashamed of how I left them.

The doctor came back to my room and handed me the phone:

"Emily... here's your mother again..." he said before going back out.

"Mom? What's wrong?" I asked, a bit confused.

"Look... Emy... these anxiety and panic attacks... they're getting worse. We tried everything... but it's like you can't find a way to call down... I talked to the doctor and... there's a clinic... where they help people deal with anxiety and after a couple of months—"

"MONTHS?! WHAT!!?" I yelled.

"Please Emily! Listen to me! You can't just end up in the hospital like today every time you panic! This was a sign to tell us that it's more serious than we thought! I'm sorry but you need to go... they will help you deal with everything." She calmly finished.

"So you're sending me to a psych ward! I'm an adult mom! I don't need this! I can't just stop everything here!" I spat out on the moment before thinking back on the decision I had taken earlier.

"It's a clinic and I think you don't have a choice! Emily, whatever caused this... you need to figure a way to make sure it doesn't cause you to panic like that again!" She expressed with concern.

I knew exactly why I had panicked... and my mom was right... There was no certainty that I could calm down... the press would only get crazier and, as I told myself earlier, I needed a break, a moment to figure out what I want and deal with my problems before allowing Tom into my life...

"Let me think about it... I'll call you tomorrow ok?" I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Alright... I'll send you the details ok... I love you baby..." she sweetly answered.

"Love you too mom... bye", I said as I hung up.

I had to get out of here... I have to face my problems... everything that I had kept pushing aside and hid in a dark corner needed to come to light. I had to say goodbye...

I had to go...