Drarry Oneshots

Criminal Of A Boyfriend

Kinda a crack fic? I don't even know anymore. I just started writing and this happened so... enjoy my guys, gals and nonbinary pals

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING maybe? For guns and crime? It's rlly not bad at all tho⚠️

Harry's POV

"Oh my Merlin this ice cream is too DIE for" Hermione said through a mouthful of whatever-the-hell-i'd-just-bought-with-what-the-hell-money I-didn't-have. Slowly I nodded an agreement.

"Yeah I have great taste." I told her. But I waited for her to leave before finishing my sentence.

"In ice cream... not in men" I muttered as my criminal of a boyfriend wrapped his hands around my hips.

"Holy- Fuck!" I yelled scared shitless. Pouting I asked, "Have you been here the whole time?"

"Yup!" Draco replied. "Y'know it's part of what I do as a criminal. Trespass into people's house and steal their shit. For this house I just happened to decide to steal your heart and... judging from my calculations it worked."

I tried not to laugh as he continued to talk. "Anywayyyys what are we doing tonight Potter? Arson? Robbery? Sell some drugs? I think murder might be going a bit far but you know I'll do anything for you."

I shook my head and lead him to the couch, where the television was still playing from when Hermione was here.

He knew exactly what I meant, there was no talking about his 'work' when I was here.

Instead of any of the insane ideas he had we sat down to watch a boring movie, but halfway through things seemed to get a bit more interesting.

I heard a smash that sounded suspiciously like glass breaking and within seconds Draco had shot up standing above me like a shield.

That's when a deep male voice spoke. "Ah great Draco, you're already here. Would you like to help me steal some useless shit we can hopefully sell?"

Suddenly everything clicked. This must be one of Draco's buddies from work coming to steal something. I was no longer worried.

"Wrong house Theo." Draco growled, spitting his name out like venom.

"Oh no I really don't think it is Dray... This is your boyfriend's house right? Harry Potter?"

Okay so maybe they weren't buddies....

Suddenly the intruder pulled a bag of an unknown substance out of his pocket and tipped it all over the house. 

Cocaine...

"Oh and I beware if I was you. The police are here!" the man yelled before jumping back out the broken window. 

 So he was trying to get me in jail... Hah! This'd backfire, although I didn't want Draco to know just yet.

I heard sirens and a knock on the door at the same. Instantly I answered the door (which confused my boyfriend to the oblivion)

"Hello Officer" I said happily leading the nice lady to Draco in the lounge room, and pulling out my own police badge. 

Draco's eyes widened at the badge and he looked terrified, but luckily stayed silent. 

"Trust me I can explain what happened Officer-"

"Judy Hopps"

"Judy Hopps, I have what happened on a security camera, and this man here can be a witness. Neither of us did anything wrong."

Draco seemed to deflate and shot me a grateful smile which I happily returned before getting the video to prove our innocence. 

~Timeskip To After She Left And They Were Proven Innocent~

"hey umm... thanks for not ratting me out" Draco mumbled.  

"I would never! I love you, but I do think we have some things to talk about..." I replied chuckling. 

"Most definitely . Since when were you a cop!?!"

~Random Timeskips~

No POV

~They are still dating but things can be a little bit confusing of course. Especially when Harry's supposed to arrest Draco (Which happens a lot but Draco always somehow gets away)~

Draco's grin was much too big for a criminal who was hanging upside down caught in ropes by a cop. 

"Hello there! And how is my beautiful boyfriend?"

Harry's face was stoic as he replied. "You talk to much for a soon-to-be dead man." 

Smirking with all his vine energy Draco replied sassily, "I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me!"

Harry's façade dropped and he chucked as he cut the ropes. "Now hurry up and run, the other Police will be here any minute and it's not as fun without a chase"

With that Draco flipped onto his feet, blew Harry a kiss and prepared for a race. 

"You'll give me a ten second head start right?"

"I already did... but it started ten seconds ago."

Sorry got to run, Baii!"

~Another Timeskip~

Harry reloaded his gun and took a shot, aiming for the shoulder and unfortunately hitting the target. Draco howled and kept running, keeping his good hand on his now bloody shoulder. 

Harry growled in annoyance and mumbled to himself. "Ah fuck this'll be a long night."

~~~~~~

Harry dreaded walking through the door to their shared apartment, but he did anyway and saw Draco glaring daggers at him. 

"Sooo... how was your day?"

"YOU FUCKING SHOT ME THAT WAS MY DAY!"

~Hipity Tipity Timeskip~

The couple sat in the police station waiting room wondering how they'd get out of this one. 

Harry would probably just pull the Police Officer card and it'd be fine but still, it was stressful. 

"Really Dray? You brought a gun to the airport? We were just going to the Bahamas! ON A VACATION!"

"Yeah well in my defense I didn't think they'd call your kind on us!"

"My kind-? Do you mean the police?! How would they not call them? You had a gun!!" 

Welp Imma randomly end it there because I have no more idea but I hope u enjoyed whatever crack this is! 

Love you all!!