You're Not The Only One.

Chapter 18

(Hande's POV)

It felt like the world had ended, but I couldn't understand why.

The instant Kerem had walked out of my hotel room and then slammed the door shut behind him, my knees had buckled, and I ended up sitting on the floor.

What had just happened?

I'd let fear get into my head and ruined everything.

Stress and sadness and emotions I didn't even understand sat like a rock inside my chest, and all I could do was focus on inhaling and exhaling deep, staggering breaths in and out of my lungs.
I slid deep into thoughts , running over encounter after encounter,kiss after kiss,word after word.My eyes closed on their own accord the darkness I found opened the floodgates, visions of Kerem and memories I did't want to have streamed forward. His face, so handsome yet angelic, his smile so wicked, his passion so addictive. And the feelings he had unearthed in me, all unexpected but all thrilling.
My washed out mind seemed hell bent on torturing me, but it was my own stupid fault. I had asked for it.Hopelessness had taken over a new meaning.

I didn't know how long I'd stayed like that, on the floor, basically sobbing into my hands.The chime of my mobile made me jump and brought me out of my daydream, where all of the misery was real again. I didn't particularly want to connect with anyone but I scrambled to sit up and grabbed for it.

Maybe it was him?
Maybe he wanted to come back and sort things out?

But when my sister's name flashed across the screen, that rock in my chest only grew heavier.

I didn't want to answer it, but I knew I needed to. My sister had been trying to reach me for the past several hours, and I'd been completely MIA.
I swiped a hand down my cheeks, brushing away the tears as I tried to answer with the calmest voice possible. "Alo abla," I greeted her but I didn't miss the way my voice wavered.

"Hande," she responded,her tone already concerned. "İyi misin?"

"İyiyim."

"You sound like you're about to freaking cry. You're not fine. What's going on?"

I swallowed hard against the onset of new tears. "Nothing."

"Hande. Seriously. What is going on?"

"(I don't know) Bilmiyorum abla" A shaky sigh consumed my lungs, and it caused a domino effect, opening the dam of tears again and allowing the stupid tears to flow down my cheeks in steady waves.

" Herşey bitti ( Everything is over) "

"If you're freaking out about that article, you need to take a breath and realize it's not a big deal."

"It's not just the article," I whispered.

"Then what is it?" she questioned. "Did something happen with Kerem?"

Just the mention of his name made my chest ache. "I just feel like everything is crashing down on me."

"I get that you're upset right now, but you're going to have to be a little more specific for me to actually understand what you're talking about."

An unsteady exhale jumped from my throat. "Here's the thing. I don't understand what's going on, so I don't even know what to tell you.

"I think the beginning is a good place to start," she coaxed gently. "How about, why don't you tell me how the paparazzi got hold of photos of you and Kerem kissing and laughing and hugging and doing all sorts of cutesy things on a night that I know has nothing to do with the show? A night that I know with certainty was after you all wrapped up the shoot in Sapanca."