You're Not The Only One.

Chapter 12

(Hande's POV)

I had barely gotten home from the set , stripped off my clothes, and thrown on leggings and a sweater, when I heard the front door open.
I knew for a fact that it was Dilara, Gamze and Nilay at this hour since they had pestered me from the time they got to know that I had come back from an impromptu trip with Kerem. I couldn't bear to keep this piece of information from them anymore and had gushed out in between the scenes to Nilay and it was just an avalanche reaction from that moment.
I had told them bits and pieces barring what all had happened between us because there was absolutely no reason for my sister or my bestfriends to think anything had happened between me and Kerem beyond a friendly visit to Cappadocia , but I still found myself plastering a stiff smile on my face as they came into my room for a night of icecream , pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and Pretty Woman, which was their way of getting information out of me.
I was in for a long night.

As they ducked into my bedroom to put away their carry-on bags for the night, I felt like I had a neon sign around my neck flashing LIAR. Because even though I hadn't actually outright lied to either of them, I couldn't help but feel that omission was nearly as bad.
A few minutes later,when we were settled on my bed with the pizza and wine, Gamze broke the silence in the room. " Sooo...how was your 'trip' with , Kerem?" I felt 3 pair of eyes strained on me.
" Ablaaa." I whined.
Gamze gave me a knowing smile and in that moment I wanted to dive beneath the duvet and stay there till they left.
" Trip? Or should I call it a date Handee...."
Dilara looked at me over the rim of her glass.
" Yok. Olmaz(impossible). Kızlar..it was..it was not a date ....
" Öyle mi?"
" Evet!.sadece arkadaşız ( Yess! we are just friends) ama I honestly had no idea how much working with Kerem would change things, though..And I really like working with him..but we are just friends and we like spending time together"
" And he loves working with you.." Nilay agreed."Since he's told me again and again how much he's enjoying working with you...that guy literally worships you , miymiy. Gamze, you should just see them on set..onlar her zaman birlikteler(they are always together ) but Hande doesn't want him,değil mi(isn't it)?"
I should have given an excuse of a bad headache when they had called me before coming over.
" Gerçekten yaa..He is such a gentleman..whoever he dates is gonna be one lucky woman"
Dilara's words hit me in a way I had failed to anticipate.

Even thought I wouldn't deny all the sweet things he had done for me, when whatever was going on between us would end, Kerem would move onto someone else.

He would give up trying and date someone who wouldn't be damaged enough to not give him a chance.
Who wouldn't be thinking of endings all the time.

I wished they could talk about something else. Anything else. But I could tell that my sister and bestfriends were waiting for me to say something.

Allah, I wanted so desperately to confide in them. But what could I possibly say? I slept with Kerem last night and the night before that too? And then when I started freaking out yesterday morning and tried to send him on his way, he half-attacked me to keep me in my bed...and I loved it.

Hayir. I couldn't say that. Couldn't say anything at all to anyone about being with Kerem. It would be too great a risk on all sides of the equation. And really, what was there to say? It had only been one, beautiful, perfect, sinful night or maybe two or three if you counted the morning after, hadn't it?

One experience that I would never, ever let happen again yet at the same time I so desperately wanted to feel him hold me close to him again.

" Haklısın . I suppose anyone who dates Kerem..would be lucky.."

He would wisk her away somewhere where they would spend time together.
Play the guitar for her.
Sing for her.
Hold her the way he held me .