a court of light and shadow

chapter 6(Azriel)

Mor was obviously pissed. the sweet smile she had plastered on her face was so brittle that Azriel thought it might slice him in half. Mor looked happy a moment ago he didn't know what could have pissed her off so suddenly and so much. She was glaring daggers at him as she slowly made her way over two him. Once she was next to her she grabbed his jacket sleeve and half dragged him out of the training rooms and down the hall past a confused Cassian who looked like he was about to burst out laughing at the sight of him being dragged down the hallway but more just leveled that glare on him and Cassian backed away his hands raised in surrender. They walked past the entrance to the library and down another hall. When Azriel's back hit the cold wall, he knew he was in trouble, because Mor never looked so angry like she was now.

"Explain to me why the red-haired priestess is wearing THAT necklace which was meant for Elain?!" her nails dug into his jacket. Az opened his mouth, then closed again.
"Azriel," Mor shook him, "Explain right now."
"I-I gave it to Gwyn, because— I thought she deserved it." He regretted it after he heard his voice. "
She deserves her own necklace and not a necklace which wasn't meant for her," she snarled and let go of him. "I never thought that you would be such a damned idiot."
Mor was right, she always was right. Gwyn deserved her own necklace. He felt nothing but a shame, his heart ringing in his ears- Inside he cursed himself.On that night he wasn't himself, that's why he went into the training room. Azriel wanted to be far away from her. From Elain.
And Gwyn— she helped him, in some way.
"You are a fool, Azriel. You made a very big mistake when you gave her that necklace." Swore Mor.
"Yes. Yes, I'm a fool." He answered angrily, "I'm a fool because I gave her that necklace. I am. I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway. You know why?" his voice broke as he went on, "Because in that night I thought how happy it would make Gwyn. And she was. When Nesta asked her about the necklace she answered with joy in her eyes. Even she doesn't know that it's from me." He stopped and breathed.
"What do you mean 'she doesn't know ?" Mor asked quietly, but he heard her anger.
"I said Clotho to gave it to her, that it's from 'friend' " He shut his mouth.The more he spoke, the more shame he felt. His shadows were whispering something into his ear, but Azriel wasn't listening. His gaze met Mor's. "Mor-"
"Did you think how broken Gwyn will be when she will found out?" Mor asked calmly. Too calmly.
Her words hit him like a bow.
Azriel's hand tightened into Truth-teller.
He didn't think about that. For a second he imagined Gwyn's face: full of tears, blaming herself because she trusted him.
And after that, Azriel would lose Gwyn's trust forever.
"I will fix it," he swore, "I will make everything to fix my mistake." He looked at Mor.
"You will. Or Gwyn will break so hard that even you can't fix." She turned and left him in the hall.
He always liked spending time alone, but loneliness now started being awful.