The Price of Champions and Crowns (Hunger Games)

3

No one has specifically said so. But I've gathered I'm not allowed to leave my room. Just based off the four peacekeepers that guard my door. 

I hate hospitals. There, I said it. A full week of being cooped up in the same room. I've told everyone that I'm fine. Both physically and mentally. Yet, here I rot. Apparently all Victors are 'detained' after their games for a week of observation. Just in case they've contracted something from their arena or gone full crazy like Annie Odair did.

I bit my lip in guilt while staring at my crisp white sheets. I guess I owe it to Liam not to call her crazy anymore. There's another thing that's annoying me. Nobody is telling me what happened in the arena. How did Liam die?, I asked my mother that very question. All she did was nod at the nurse to give me a shot of morphine while she smirked and said 'have a fun trip'.

Blight visited me once and that was as awkward as anyone could imagine. He thanked me while attempting to get me to drink from his bottle which I rightly refused. Said he didn't realise how much Trent meant to me. Which I guess was sweet but who knows how Trent would look at it. I asked Blight how Trent died and he was able to reply a slurred 'drowned'. 

Which leaves me with two solid facts:

1. Trent's cannon was the one I heard before I passed out.

2. I full on drowned, as in passed out straight after Trent died. I'm a shit swimmer that hardly put up a fight while Liam is basically part fish. It means that while I was passed out on the brink of death, he was still alive...yet somehow I'm the one that made it out?!?

...it doesn't add up.

Even if at the very second I passed out, the game makers drained the arena. Then I would've been passed out and Liam would've. So, I'm thinking that the only logical explanation is that he committed suicide. 

It'd be why everyone won't tell me. Why Johanna didn't tell me after my many meltdowns over his death. Why, even though he's the better swimmer and would've survived the flood that it's me sitting here. And I can't, I honestly can't deal with that as my reality.

So, like my dear old mother suggested, I'm enjoying my trip. Actually, I'm trip on nine and to hell with everything. To hell with guilt, family and love. I don't need any of it, I don't need to feel anything. I don't want to feel anything ever again.