The Price of Champions and Crowns (Hunger Games)

22

He looked like he was debating it before he shook his head. His eyes stared down the pair of them in betrayal. "I hate you".

Fuck. 

That's the worst thing he could've possibly said in a room full of victors.

Finnick snorted. "Sure you do. The kid whose had everything".

I felt myself inhale and take a small step back. 

My eyes wondered from Liam's onto Johanna's. She stood distanced from the Odairs but alas still apart of the crowd. Infront of a big group of middle aged victors.

She looked guarded. A front for sure, yet I wasn't sure what caused it. 

Its. Not. Me.

I know at least that much. After our fight she's angry, but not to the point where she has to protect what little sanity she has. It doesn't have to do with me standing idiotically next to Liam while him and Finnick battle it out.

Its nothing to do with that.

Its so intriguing that I hardly think before dropping Liam's hand and walking over to her with a frown. She smirks coyly which doesn't suprise me.

She huffed. "Come to yell at me too?".

I could feel eyes on us now. Katniss stood beside my mother and opened her mouth before Peeta nudged her into silence with a slight shake of the head. I shrugged. "No. I want to know why you're scared shitless".

She laughed. Bitter and fake. 

It told me exactly what I'd suspected. She's scared. 

I smirked now. "Scared Johanna, that somebody actually knows you now? Or did you fuck something up?".

That cut her off mid chuckle. Her eyes narrowed into slits before I felt a grip on my shoulder. One that caused me to jump in suprise. I swallowed as I met the serious face of Peeta Mellark. All business, and unlike at the tour no sympathy. He indicated to the pair of near identical men across the room. "We need you to go back over there, calm him down and follow Haymitch out of the room".

I blinked. "W-what?".

His eyes softened and he indicated to Liam angrily shouting at Finnick. Sounds like a string of angry 'Fuck You's' if you ask me. 

Peeta cleared his throat. "The Odairs can't have a scandal right now. Meaning, you can't have a scandal right now. Get him out of the room with Haymitch. Now".

I felt my mouth suddenly become dry. Confusion clouding any thought to do anything he tells me. "Why wou-"

Katniss huffed and smacked Peeta's hand off my shoulder before glaring at me. "Preferably before Snow gets here, Victoria". 

Johanna shook her head and gave me a shove in their direction, nodding at Finnick who winked back her before eagerly smirking condecendingly at the boy I know is at the tipping point of a mental breakdown. All hurt and emotion. 

It feels like all eyes are watching me now. I slowly make my way up to them, but I feel like I shouldn't interrupt. Why?... because I have no idea what I'm interuppting for!.

B-because I want to know what they're all conspiring for?. 

Or why she's so scared?...

I turned to Liam, who in his anger didn't even realise I'd left his side. "-orst of all you didn't fucking tell me!".

Finnick winked at me. "She's here now, alive and well. What's the problem Liam?".

Interrupt them, Victoria.

Liam all but blinked. "The problem dad is tha-"

Finnick smiled, in a way that showed he enjoyed watching Liam riled up. Or maybe, it was an emotion I didn't want to admit was there. Hidden amongst the sick amusment, pride. "So its back to dad, is it?".

This really isn't my place...

I turned back over my shoulder. Johanna, Katniss and Peeta are staring me down hard. 

And then I'm staring back at Finnick and I realise why I'm so uncomfortable. 

I've never had this.

This right here!.

A parent that cares enough to fight with me. Don't get me wrong, Johanna and I fight. We fight all the time, we're never not holding a grudge over the other. 

But, we don't fight like the Odairs. 

I don't yell at Johanna in way that shows she's hurt me. And she doesn't try to find any evidence of my love for her. We don't yell at eachother and then make up at the end, become stronger because of it. We fight to storm off so we have an excuse not to see the other for a few days. 

And this realisation hurts the most. I don't know why it does. Its not like I didn't already know that Johanna and I don't love eachother. But this is just so...in my face. So right in front of me.  It takes me a second to realise that the two of them are still going at it, yet I can't breathe. Can't think. 

This hurts.

It hurts like it hurt to lose Liam in that arena. Hurts like in the stall when Johanna smiled and said she didn't want me, he did . I feel like an axe is burried into my chest. Its there and I can't take it out. But its so heavy that my heart can't beat, my lungs can't move and Liams cupping my face.

I blink and still its nothing. No air, no ai-

Green eyes pierce mine. "Breathe".

And I do. Low, deep and slow. 

His forehead is on mine and I feel his soft hands wipe away tears I didn't know had fallen. He whispers a soft. "Just breathe, your safe. Your safe here with me".

And I'm no longer drowning, the axe is gone and I mutter. "I'm just really high right now".

But I'm not. I've never felt more sober in my entire life. He doesn't state the obvious and neither do I. 

I don't know why I feel the need not to acknolwedge it. That I just had a panic attack in a room full of Victors. Who all probably go through the same thing, especially just after their games. 

But that wasn't what caused it. And that's where my shame stems from. 

From Johanna. And myself. The both of us and our dysfunction.

And then I remember somthing else. I rember that I'm in this crowded room of victors, one of which is Haymitch Abernathy. I sniff. "L-liam I need air".

And just like that. He doesn't think twice before grabbing my hand and steering us out of the room in a way in which I can't be seen. 

Parents and victors forgotten.