The Price of Champions and Crowns (Hunger Games)

4

I've been out of it for weeks. Johanna being the side lines parent that she is, actually hasn't picked up on it. But I'm now addicted to morphine. Heavily addicted. I can't remember the last time I wasn't on it. All I know is that I'm back stage, for what reason? No idea. God! How did I even get here, again?.

Okay, think.

I'm wearing a pink fluffy dress. It's so fluffy that it's like a cloud. I couldn't help giggling as I ran my hands over it continuously. It's so fucking soft. Like a bird, I wonder if I'm a bird now?.

I noticed vaguely that I wasn't alone. Clement was in the corner looking from me and then frantically around him like I'm a disaster. My mother was in a corner, surprisingly with Victors. And here I am twirling in my dress before I stopped short and tapped my skirt. It looks like fairy floss. I wonder is it tastes like fair-

"Hello, Victoria".

I looked up drunkenly at Finnick Odair. He seemed to be observing me very closely while everyone else here was in their own worlds. Normally, I'd instantly frown at the presence of Finnick. Or, if I was in my right mind I would've cried at the sight of somebody who looked so much like him. Maybe I would've apologised that I made it out and his son didn't. Told him how much I loved Liam. How distraught the memories of his son has made me. But, I'm not in my right mind nor do I care. I didn't care, I don't care about anything. So, instead I giggled at him.

His charming smirk seemed to falter slightly to concern. He didn't skip a beat before trapping my wrist and lightly dragging me over to Johanna. Instantly, the conversation died down as Johanna and co. took in myself being dragged over by an angry looking Finnick Odair.

Finnick grunted. "Johanna, we have a problem".

He indicated at me and I blew a raspberry in Johanna's face. I instantly huffed. "Mum I want to go home".

Many emotions cut through her face. But I could tell then she'd instantly caught on.

A. I've never called her something as informal as 'mum' in my entire life,

B. Blowing raspberries?, would've even had the guts to do that to her as a child

C. I can't focus.

It's probably why she just growled at me while cupping my cheeks. I looked at who was behind her to see Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch. I frowned, ignoring my mother whose? Yelling at Clement.

I...I killed their kids. But I'm not guilty. I don't feel anything.

Katniss stared me down, hard. Peeta avoided eyecontact and Haymitch ran a hand through his hair as if he'd rather be anywhere but here. I had a feeling they should all be back in District Twelve....

Think Victoria!. What's happening? Why are you here?!?

My head tipped to the side in confusion. Then more confusion at the fact that Finnick was here and acting like anything I do somehow relates to him. Every drunken incoherent slur that came out of my mouth seemed to cause more and more dread for all four Victors around me.

Fuck it. I didn't even hesitate before sitting on the floor dramatically. I sighed. "Being a Victor is hard".

Mainly because I know I'm doing something wrong. It's my fault that they're all tense. But why? What did I do?!?

I could hear angry clomping behind me. "Get up!".

I rested my back against the floor now and looked up at my mother staring down at me in outrage. I blew out a depressed sigh. "I'm dying".