❖ verii's update book 🦲

Emotional Update 💧

💧 - 4/16/2021
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So, I broke my laptop's screen today. And just like the time, the screen of my phone broke, I cried. But when the laptop broke, it was for a different reason why I'd MOTHER FUCKING CRY. I'm sensitive, but I cry for reason. Not because I want the toy on the toppest shelfies, okay?

I just want to let in a disclaimer that A) my parents are abusive nor toxic B) I'm not depressed. Maybe a little anxious, but I can't really say that cause I wasn't daignosed. But, finally, C) everything I'll tell you is true and if you see italics it's mozt likely to be false.

So, remember, I cry for reason, right? One example is that I cried because a girl younger than me by a year, by a grade - bullied me. I was so hurt to the point that I would cry. The teachers were no good and were so fucking terrible in their job. TEACH YOUR STUDENTS TO ACT KINDLY ARROUND EACH OTHER, SISTER. LIKE- BESTIE.

Okay, so, my brother, he was trying to get his little, plastic, orange basket for halloween fixed, cause it broke A LOT. And I have to fix almost all his stuff. I mean, big sisters amitite? Now, when he was about to return to his spot on the bed, he accidentslly falls and hits the screen of my laptop.

At first, I didn't cry, I didn't blame him, and I bet it could be fix with the help of just adjusting the thinggies in the laptop or by restarting the mf thing, you know? But, soon, I cried beacuse my parents yelled at me... apparently it was my fault. I get it, it was partly my fault for being so
... makulit.

I wasn't staying in one place wherein I can keep my laptop space. But the thing is, when you're working, you don't just want to sit down, apparently, you'd also like to lay down and relax your mf tired ass especially a whole day listening to dumb zoom meetings where you don't even learn anything.

I copy off YT! I copy off Google! I learned nothing! Quizzes? My exams?! I wasted my life in this pandemic, when I could've, like, played with my friends outdoors or, like, actually learn something without getting the urge to copy off answers from the internet! Lmao, where was I? Literally-

But it was partly also not my fault cause my parents, if I can recall, tell each other that I was holding my MOTHER FUCKING LAPTOP. If it were safe in my arms, would it fall down and quickly usher itself under my little brother's knee? If I were to keep it safe in my arms? Were it to fly and drop to the floor? I was sitting down, trying to hold the halloween trick or treat thinggie.

My crying would've been avoided if you guys weren't so worried. I get it! I'm a smallass little girl who's trying to understand the world. I'm naive, I don't know how much money costs and how much we have. But, if we just got this through maturely, without yelling at each other, maybe we'll be able to solve this problem together.. instead of telling me it was all my fault and no one elses.

I get it, they were stressed at the time, what're they gonna do? WE HAVE A COMPUTER! WE HAVE THE FAMILY COMPUTER! DON'T SHAME ME FOR WANTING TO BUY A NEW GADGET WITH THE MONEY I DIDN'T EARN.

I think I get it when my friend says I get those suicidal thoughts whenever, cause I feel like blech, you know? Unliving myself RN? Afterall, we're simply just living on a floating rock. Nothing really matters, right?

I'm gonna have nightmares tonight :'I