Hardcore Life (Ph1LzA fanfic)

Zoning Out

Amelia

Phil and I stayed with Wilbur the night we all went to the arcade with Tommy. It had gotten dark rather quickly, and Phil didn't want to try and venture home on the train. Wilbur had somehow got it into his head that streaming would be a good idea, which he very quickly learned was not a great idea with me and Alicia under the same roof. He had made it where there was enough room in his camera's view for the three of us as he started his stream, Phil lazily sitting on Wilbur's bed in the background.

"I'm going to set up media share for this stream, and it's just going to be chill times." Wilbur said.

Alicia took control of his second monitor with the mouse that was sitting in front of her, and I laughed as she started playing music. She almost immediately started singing along as Wilbur cussed under his breath, and I turned my chair slightly to look at Phil. He looked at me and chuckled as I did a minimal amount of movement as Alicia did a full on dance to the song she chose to play. The four of us were partially fueled by alcohol, having had drinks after Tommy had left our presence.

All three fell silent as I started singing along with the song, leaning back in my chair and closing my eyes. Once the song was over, Wilbur started clapping as Alicia grabbed my arm and shook me violently. I looked away as my cheeks burned, catching a glimpse of Wilbur's chat going wild. Alicia pulled me to my feet as the next song started, and she pulled me to where there wasn't anything in the way.

"How many routines do you two practice together?" Wilbur laughed.

"Neither of you know about us being in a dance group, huh?" Alicia giggled.

"Dance group?"

"Yeah! It was called Sector Zero, but it disbanded around a year and a half ago. We were just a bunch of cosplayers trying to have fun, but arguments led to us breaking apart." Alicia explained, putting her hand on her hip. "I don't think our old YouTube channel still exists, but you can probably find random videos of us at conventions and other random events."

"Didn't your twitch career start less than a year and a half ago, Amelia?" Phil asked.

I hummed, and Phil's expression became covered in worry as I walked to the bed and sat beside him, my back to Wilbur's computer. Alicia went silent before returning to Wilbur's side, and I felt Phil's hand glide over my back. He took my hand as he stood up, and I felt as if my body was on autopilot as I got to my feet and followed him while he pulled me out of the room. He led me to the kitchen, and I leaned against the island counter as he rummaged through the fridge. The sound of a soda can popping open snapped me out of my daze as Phil stood in front of me, holding the can out to me. It felt cold in my grasp as I took it, but it burned as I took a sip.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Phil's voice was soft.

"Talk about what?" I replied, setting the can down on the counter beside me.

"You shut down."

"I know I did."

He sighed as I hopped up, sitting on the island counter, and he stood between my legs. I leaned into his touch as he placed his hands on my neck.

"If it's something you'd rather not talk about right now, I understand." He whispered.

I took a deep breath. "Sector Zero wasn't really disbanded, as Alicia said. It was more of members started leaving because of an argument that was had, and there weren't really enough left to call it a dance group."

"What was the argument about? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"My ex boyfriend was the leader of the dance group." I muttered, looking down at my hands. "He was really possessive. It had gotten to the point that he wouldn't allow me to cosplay any female character, and I wasn't allowed to dance in any kind of feminine way. A lot of the fans for the group didn't even know I was female. What made it worse was he forced me to wear bindings, and he'd tighten them so much that I was sent to the hospital once because I was struggling to breathe."

Anxiety washed over me at the memory of struggling to breathe, and I swallowed hard as my vision blurred with tears. Phil lifted my chin so I would look at him, and I sniffled as he kissed beside my eye. Looking at him never failed to calm me down, his gaze holding nothing but love and reassurance no matter what the situation was.

"So the argument was over how he treated you?" He whispered.

I nodded, a very small and almost unnoticeable movement. "A few of the members were starting to get worried about me, so they confronted him. Alicia and I left the group out of fear of him hurting everyone that fought with him."

"I want you to know that I'll never treat you that way."