Locked Hearts

Chapter Forty

VALERIUS POV

"Can you stop throwing stuff at me?" I blocked the book she threw.

The minute we stepped into her apartment she tripped off. She started with throw pillows and when they ran out, anything she got her hands on came at me.

"Stop dodging them." She whined, throwing her phone.

"Grace no, not the lamp." I ducked behind the couch just in time, hearing the loud crash behind me.

I laid there waiting for the next thing she'd throw my way but nothing came. I lifted up and peaked over the the couch, seeing her sitting with her head in her hands. I moved to a kneeling position, staring at the small red head. Her body shook and I heard a sob break through.

"Amore mio," I stood up, walking around to her.

"Don't." She whispered and I stopped. "Why?" When those blue eyes looked at me, I wanted to die. Blood red and filled with so much pain. "Please just help me understand."

My eyes locked on the floor, knowing she might not want me after this. Also knowing she needed the truth.

"I couldn't stop." I whispered.

"Couldn't stop what?"

"After I," I exhaled. "after the um, after that night with Milano, I walked out of that warehouse and I tried. I tried to come back, I closed my eyes and thought of you, my mom, Marcello and Lena. It didn't work." I sat on the ground and leaned on the couch.

"What does that mean?" She asked with a hint of fear in her voice.

"I left and figured if I took a drive, it'll clear my head. I didn't even noticed I had driven out of the city until I saw this guy. Big guy, massive even, hitting on this girl. She was telling him no but he wouldn't budge. I lost it when he dragged her into an alley way. I didn't care about the blood that coated me, I got out and I," I looked down at my hands, hands capable of so much. "Then I drove some more and it continued. It continued for months. I'd go from city to city, town to town and just." I shrugged. "I couldn't stop. These weren't big shot criminals like Milano but criminals no less. There was this thrill that came with each kill, a thrill that consumed me and I enjoyed it."

"Marcus said you left to get better." She spoke in strained voice.

I nodded. "He lied then. He and Danny spent five months following my trail and covering it up, when they found me it wasn't exactly pleasant. I wouldn't go willingly and things got.....ugly. When they did manage to tranquilize me, they knew I needed help they couldn't give." I rubbed my hands on my pants, nervous just thinking about it. "In Italy my aunt is also a part of the Italian mob, she had Aurora when she was young but never told anyone. Marcus took me to them. Aurora specialists in...breaking people I guess you could say. For six months they did everything possible to get me back and um, nothing was pretty about it." I spared a glance at her to see a fearful look on her flawless face. "When I came back to reality, I barely remembered what I did. But eventually the memories came full force and I," I cleared my throat. "I hated myself for turning into something I couldn't recognise. After that I spent the time getting better. I wished it happened sooner tesoro, I really do."

"Why didn't Marcus just let us know?"

"You didn't want to see me that way, amore." I shook my head, feeling a few tears wanting to seep through. "I didn't want you to see me that way."

"That wasn't your decision to make, Valerius." She stood up. "I could have been there for you." She glared down at me.

"One day I was so out of that I almost killed Danny. You didn't want to see me that way, Grace." I hoped my eyes conveyed how bad I became.