Diego's Daughter//TUA

hi vanny

"Oh peaches and cream. How are you?" Klaus groaned, speaking to no visible person. "I'm thinking of a number between 11 and 25." Klaus said.
"What ghost are you talking to now?" Allison spoke, coming down the stairs.
"Oh just another.. just another old cowboy. Texas is lousy with them, and they're usually pretty cute but this one.. this one is ugly and dumb." Klaus spoke, sitting up then pulling out a flask.
"Look at my uncle being such a good role model for me." Frances joked as she smiled, looking down at him from the kitchen table. He smiled back, "want some?" He asked Frances who just rolled her eyes with a chuckle.
"Klaus, if you are looking for an enabler, look elsewhere." Allison said.

"Allison, your marriage is in trouble and your rally turned into a riot. If nows not the time to do some drink party, I do t know when is!" Klaus took another sip.

Allison sat next to him.

"Frances told me what happened." Allison said.
"Yeah I did, but Klaus I'm sure she would love to hear it from you." Frances spoke.
Allison nodded sarcastically.
"Oh where do I begin. My claustrophobic cult tracked me down, I fell off a wagon, and I proffesed my undying love for this young gay man, who doesn't know he's gay yet at a 1963 diner in front of his blatantly closeted uncle. Yeah, well not in that order.. but..." Klaus took another swig from his flask, and handed it to Allison.
"Aren't we a pair," she said taking a sniff of the drink, then she closed it. "Oh Jesus."
"Hey uh excuse me." Klaus whined.

"Atta girl." Frances smiled.

"I've got a blender and some much better booze. So if we're gonna start day drinking we have to do it right."

Frances sighed
"I love you so much." Klaus laughed.
And they both stood.

Frances called a taxi to take her back home
—————
"No no no no I don't understand, they keep following me." Diego said.
"Wait who." Luther spoke from the kitchen, making eggs.
"Those Dutch sociopaths."
"They're Swedish you idiot. Hired guns payed to eradicate us before we do any more damage to the timeline." Five corrected.
"Luther hurry up in there, I'm starving." Frances groaned.
"Yeah but why now? I mean I'm fine for three months until you showed up." Diego said.
"Yeah, I was here for a year and no one messed with me." Luther spoke.

"Even if it was my fault, which it isn't, we only have six days before the end of the work, and the closest anyone's gotten to dad was the driveway at the consulate." Five said.
"Well.. that's not exactly true." Luther voiced.
"What do you mean?" Five questioned.
"I saw him,"

(S2, episode 5, 11:09)

"That's pathetic." Diego commented to his story.
"Yeah well, at least he didn't shank my ass."
"No, bro, he shanked your heart." Frances spoke in a sarcastic sympathetic way.
Her dad smiled and gave her a high five, "That's my girl."

Luther shrugged.
"Is that my bathrobe?" Elliot came in, Frances looked at him immediately.
"No." Luther said with food in his mouth.
"Look, who cares what he shanked? He knows something about time travel-"
"Umm-" Elliot interrupted "-why don't you just do your thing and uh, time travel us out?"

"Anyone care to explain?" Five said.
"First time he tried, he got lost in the apocalypse." Luther said.
"Second time he ended up without hair on his balls." Diego said.
"Third time he tried he scattered us across Dallas." Frances said.
"Possibly triggering a doomsday.. anymore questions Elliot?" Five finished.

"Uh no." He said.
Five and Frances made eye contact, Frances looked stern like she didn't like how Five responded to Elliot and Five just smiled knowingly.

"You're all missing the big picture here. Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that's planning to kill the president." Diego said.
"Dads mad that he won't have a chance to make out with Kennedy before he dies." Frances said, half joking
"Look, the way I see it, we only have one option,"
"Oh yeah and what's that?" Luther asked.
"It's time to get the Umbrella Academy back together." Five said. "Plus my new found, super cool healing powers that cause me to pass out." Frances added.
"Hell Yeah, family meeting." Diego smiled,
"Okay then, can one of you two get Allison please." Luther spoke.
"Are you two still a thing?" Diego asked. Luther shrugged.
"Do we need to talk?" Frances asked. "No, she's married." Luther spoke.
"Whoah dude that rough." Diego said,
"I can handle it." Luther chuckled with a smile, then he lost it immediately.

"I'll get her." Five said.
"Can you get Vanya without squeezing her to death?" Five asked Luther.
"I'll try."
Five jumped.
"Wait-" Elliot said.. "What should I do?"

"Prepare for company." Diego responded.
"Frances, you said you have powers. How do they work?" Elliot asked.
"Well, I just focus on what I want to heal and basically while I'm healing someone all their pain is inflicted on me, and I pass out after."
"Hmm. So can you heal dead people or like what are your limits."
"Never tried it. There are many instances where I could have used my powers but I am not sure why It never worked." Frances looked to her dad who just sighed. He knew why she was sad.
———
"You know, Jello O used to be a delicacy. You know in order to make it you had to boiled down a whole lotta mess of hooves you know, horses, cows, pigs, doesn't matter. But not everybody has just a mess of hooves just lying around. It wasn't until uh, a couple of sassy New Yorkers figured out how to dry it out so that the rest of us could have a chance to enjoy this ambrosia." Everyone seemed bored, but Frances was the only one intentivly listening. "I learned that from a YouTube video." Frances spoke, Elliot looked confused. "From the future." Frances clarified to Elliot.

"If we have some will you shut up?" Diego spoke.
"Maybe." Elliot said. Frances had a small smile on her lips as she watched her dad and Elliot's interaction.
Elliot began scooping some in cups for them.
"How are you feeling?" Luther asked.
"Pretty shitty, to be honest." Vanya replied.
"Where would you say you are on a scale from one to, ending all life on this planet?" Diego asked.
"Really?"
"Put the knife down, she's fine." Frances spoke to Diego, twirling a knife around.
"Last time I saw this one she had me suspended in mid air, sucking the life out of me it's energy tentacles. I think I'm aloud a little time to process." Diego spoke. "Oh I would love to see an energy tentacle." Elliot said.

"Yeah yeah ok, but we all know it was Luther's fault for choking her out and locking her in a cage." Frances eyed Luther who glared back.

"I don't remember what I did but I'm sorry.. if that means anything." Vanya said.

"It does"Diego set his knife down. "-I'm just going through a lot right now. There's this girl that I like I thought that she liked me but it turns out she's-" Diego was interrupted by laughter.

The five walked up to look down at the lower floor.
"Oh wow, I know that this is impossible, but did we all get sexier?" Klaus started looking up at everyone.

"Vanya." Allison said.
"I can't believe I have a sister." She smiled, going down the steps, everyone following.
"I missed you." Allison smiled.
"I'm glad someone did."

They went into a hug, then Frances joined.
"You are drunk." Diego said to Klaus.
"Oh just a little- oh that's so sweet." Klaus responded, looking at the three girls hugging, then he joined.

"Hi vanny." Klaus kissed her head.
"Klaus is Ben here?" Five asked.

They broke their hug, "oh uh no.. unfortunately ghosts can't time travel." Klaus sighed.

"All right then, let's get down to buissness." Five said, walking up the stairs.

"Hey Diego, can't say hi to nobody?" Allison asked.
"Hi Allison."
"What was that?"
"Hi Allison!"
"Thank you."