The Story of an Idiot with a Box (Series 8) Doctor Who

Listen Pt 1

[Tardis]

DOCTOR: Question. Why do we talk out loud when we know we're alone? (blows out candle) Conjecture. Because we know we're not.
(He writes on his blackboard.)
DOCTOR: Evolution perfects survival skills. There are perfect hunters.
(He watches a lioness bring down a wildebeest.)
DOCTOR: There is perfect defence.
(A shoal of dazzling tuna, and a puffer fish inflates itself so the nasty spines stick out.)
DOCTOR: Question. Why is there no such thing as perfect hiding? Answer. How would you know? Logically, if evolution were to perfect a creature whose primary skill were to hide from view, how could you know it existed?
(He puts his chalk down in an open book.)
DOCTOR: It could be with us every second and we would never know. How would you detect it, even sense it, except in those moments when, for no clear reason you choose to speak aloud? What would such a creature want? What would it do? Well? What would you do?
(That last word echoes around the Tardis. The chalk is no longer where he left it. It rolls on the floor to his feet and he picks it up, then sees that what he wrote on the blackboard has been replaced by one word. Listen.)

[Restaurant]

(Isabella  has returned home, and is recalling the evening. We jump back to where she has been. Isabella  enters the restaurant and goes to the table where Ronald  Weasley  is sitting, wearing a pink shirt. He raises his right arm in a sort of open hand semi-salute.)
Ronald : Hey.
Isabella : Hey.
(She goes to shake his hand.)
Isabella : Sorry.
(They exchange kisses on the cheeks.)
Isabella : So the famous drink at last.
Ronald : Yeah. Took a bit of time, family stuff, but here we are.
Isabella  : Dinner, in fact.
Ronald : Yeah, straight to dinner.
Isabella : I like a man who moves fast.
Ronald  : Yeah? I might go straight for extras. Afters. Dessert.
Isabella : Yes, I know, I know, dessert.
Ronald : Straight to dessert.
Isabella : Gotcha.
Ronald : So, er, how was your day?
Isabella : Good. You know. Teaching.
Ronald : Yep, teaching.
Isabella : Teaching, teaching.
Ronald : Totally teaching.
Isabella : We probably shouldn't talk about work.
Ronald : God, yeah.
Isabella : Though, do you take Courtney for anything?
(A little later they are still laughing.)
Ronald : Are you serious?
Isabella : She said she couldn't concentrate on her work, because my face was too wide.
Ronald : Wide?
Isabella : I could kill that girl some days.
Ronald : Me too.
Isabella : And from you, that means something.
Ronald : Sorry?
(The jovial atmosphere dissipates instantly. We see Isabella  at home, putting her high heels by the kettle.)
Ronald : I dug twenty three wells.
Isabella : I'm sorry?
Ronald : Twenty three wells. When I was a soldier. Twenty three.
Isabella  : Okay. Good. Good wells.
Ronald : Yeah, they were good, actually.

Isabella: I'm not doubting the quality of your wells.
Ronald: Whole villages saved. Actual towns full of people. People I didn't shoot. People I kept safe.
Isabella : Okay. Point taken. Seriously.
Ronald : So why doesn't that ever get mentioned?
Isabella : I'm sorry I didn't mention your twenty three wells.
WAITER: Excuse me?
Isabella : Sorry.
WAITER: Er, water for the table?
Isabella : Don't you worry. He'll probably dig for it.
(The waiter leaves with the jug of water. After a few moments, Ronald  laughs.)
Ronald : Sorry.
Isabella : It's okay.
Ronald : Sensitive subject.
Isabella : Yes. Can slightly see that. 

Ronald : Sometimes people like you get the wrong end of the stick.
Isabella : People like me?
(In her apartment, Isabella  takes a sip of the hot drink she has made.)
Ronald : I wasn't making assumptions about you.
Isabella : That really is exactly what you were doing.
Ronald : You were making assumptions about me.
Isabella : I made a joke.
Ronald : A not-funny joke.
Isabella : Yeah, well, do you know what I'm making now?
Ronald : A fuss?
Isabella : An exit.
(Isabella  puts on her coat and leaves the restaurant. Ronald thumps his head on the table.)