a freak with thought

day 1

Watch me skip days due to lack of motivation or just cause I forgot :P ()

so hmh guess I'll talk about yesterday and today seeing as my day hasn't even started at the time of write last night me and the voices talked about past experiences and moral  code(?) I guess I'll start with the moral code I guess

It is basic you return what is given kindness returned in kindness and stuff like that I hope at the end of the day this well still stand even at the end of the day even with all the fales it has

Um the memory now sorry if I'm rushing through this just don't know what im doing (self depreciation sometimes really sucks) basically it was an old memory more faint now in emotion um for this story I'm gonna name the kid gold (don't wanna use their really name besides they really were golden sure they I believe struggled in academic they definitely possibly pure in personality I don't remember much about them ) so I used to bully them (it was execution bullying not hand on hand or anything emotionally I think I gave them)  and I made up the most ridiculous reason "you made me miss lunch" and I carried that dumb reason for 3 years and I think I finally realized in 4th grade why I hated her their was one thing in my anger I missed her mother looked like mine and I think that hit hard never really been close with my parents maybe it's my fault  or theirs just hurt or an outside force (I asked mom did she get signs of me being gay(or atleast bi) when I was younger and she didn't and if I remember correctly (which is somewhat amazing) I remember alot of gay moments she was standing their when one of them happened (and before you say we were possibly just friends but if that was me with a boy my grandparents would of went bat sh- saying I liked them and I think any other parent would of said the same which makes me mad not at my mother just people in general )) so where was I eh guess today then

Agian self depreciation sucks I think I'm doing something wrong probably  gonna get back to work or procrastinat watching Steve universe