a freak with thought

confusion

What do they see me as I know they see me as a sorta comedian how just wants to make their days sorta better but do they even see me as their son

They keep on calling me their "daughter" I don't understand was I not clear enough that it hurts or am I becoming numb to that pain are the jokes I make not funny

I say I am being bullied in a sometimes funny term

Then your making fun of me for wanting attention

I hugged her without letting go don't call me a "baby" in a mocking tone it hurts I'm forgetting again aren't I : P just wish they'd see my side I'm weird cause I don't know when I'm taking it to far I think I have problems that's normal I think

Honestly your hair does smell lovely like burnt ash but more welcoming

Yes I have a distance relationship with pants that's cause of my negative experience with them and their uncomfortable to be in at night

(Okay my bad experience with pants is my grandma made me wear black slick pants and sweaters I didn't like it and I've grown resistant towards them they still try to make me wear them I don't : P)

Honestly kinda concerned about that problem plus more when I move in with my partners eh more worries fun

They say a good kid comes from a hard working family but if im right on my end it's trauma um I gotta look up an article

I'm to lazy to look for / read an article so I explain it in my own words

Traumatized people attracted (so do lbgq+ people but you don't need trauma to be a part of lbgq+) from past experiences their bodies can't take stress will its overpowering and its normally alot of the time people they trust family members or friends and if a good moment ever rolls around they take it badly

They are sometimes very afraid of speaking up for themselves due to this the harsh words or actual physical abuse sometimes their actions aren't even tooken into account...

This isn't applied to all cases but the few I've meet and seen have

I'll possibly try a real paragraph soon but feel not tired but sorta playful woke up at 4/5 in the morning after going to bed some time around 10-+ don't know wanna eat my sleeve though  so um num until next time