S.A.D || zarry au

twenty eight

~

        "Do you want to talk about it?" Mum asked gently massaging my scalp. We were still laying in my bed, but I calmed down a little bit since we first got home.

        "No, not right now," I sniffled.

        "Okay," she said softly. "Whenever you're ready, baby."

        I wouldn't know where to start. I know Mum knew about the basic stuff, but so much has happened. I avoided telling her about the bullying or about Niall. I really didn't want to tell her about Niall.

        I needed to. though. I just didn't know how. I sighed letting the minutes tick by before I opened my mouth, "I don't want to go in graphic detail, Mumma, but I used to get picked on. And, when Zayn first moved here he took care of it without me even knowing. He was nice to me. He cared for me. But, this boy, Louis, did not. He hurt me and that night when Zayn came here all mucked up was because he found a bruise on me that Louis made. So he went and tried to set Louis straight in a more violent way and it back fired. The police came and put Zayn in cuffs. They said they were going to press charges against Zayn for assault. But, then Louis dropped the charges and I saw exactly what Zayn did to him. It wasn't something minor, Mumma. Louis was in the hospital for a long time and until today he would avoid me like the plague. I guess that's a bit of a blessing, but his adopted brother took a certain interest in making my life hell.

        He was angry at Zayn for hurting Louis and he was angry at me for...I really don't know. So, he took Liam from me," the last sentence came out in a whisper but I continued, "me and Liam had a bit of a disagreement cause I thought that he was trying to defend Niall, which, it seemed like he was. And, that night me and Zayn were watching a movie and he showed me a picture that was posted. It was Liam and Niall kissing. I didn't even know Liam was gay, or bi. I don't know really. But, he betrayed me and there was a muck in the cafeteria between us and I started having an attack. Liam didn't even give Zayn my shot. He just watched me run out and Zayn had to try and help me push through it.

        Then," I gulped, "me and Liam didn't talk and he was dating Niall. What happened recently." A tear slipped down my cheek. "Niall pulled me into a supply closet and kissed me. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know why I did it but I kissed him back. I cheated on Zayn, Mumma. I'd never been kissed by anyone but Zayn and in that moment it seemed like I wasn't thinking straight and for all I knew that could have very well been Zayn. Liam saw it while it was happening. Everything happened so quickly but it didn't seem like it. I guess, Zayn somehow found out. I don't know how, but I left that closet and I started having an attack and I found Zayn waiting for me. The look on his face haunts me. H-he was so betrayed and I had to tell him that I kissed Niall back. I would never lie to him and I didn't sugar coat it either. Even after I told him that he helped me through my attack and then he took me home. He told me he needed time to think. He hates me," I cried. I looked up at Mum's face and I mentally winced seeing the sorrow behind her eyes.

        "Harry," she whispered, "why didn't you tell me?"

        "I didn't want to hassle you and I didn't want you to go to the police or school."

        "I think I need to do that. As a parent I want you to be safe-"

        "Mum, please don't," I pleaded, "it's over with. It's done."

        "What this boy, Niall, is doing is most certainly not done," she said.

        "I don't care about Niall. I just want this all to stop. I want my boyfriend back. I want my best friend back," I sobbed.