S.A.D || zarry au

twenty six

(trigger warning)

~

Harry's POV

        Niall slammed the door shut. "What the hell?" I snapped trying to push past him. He ginned wickedly and pushed me up against the wall. "Get off me!" He didn't say anything only pinned me while checking the watch on his wrist.

        "Show time," he whispered before planting his lips on mine. I was froze in shock my mind going blank not hearing the camera click. His lips pushed against mine harder as if they were trying to bring life to mine.

        That's when I did the worst thing I could have possibly done in a situation such as this one.

        I kissed back.

        Only for a second or less our lips moved together; that's when the door opened and Niall pulled back slowly looking at the door. Liam was standing there with his lips parted and a tear slipping down his cheek. "Babe," Niall said reaching out for him.

        Liam slapped Niall's hand away looking between the two of us before yelling a sharp, "Fuck you!" Before running off.

        Niall looked back at me with a small smirk, "You are a slut, Styles."

        I gaped at him when he left the closet as if he didn't just ruin my life. My hands started shaking and I fought to stay balanced. I walked out of the closet using the lockers on the wall for support. My breath was harsh and my chest started to tighten.

        What have I done?

        Why did Niall do that?

        What if Zayn fount out?

        What if Zayn left me?

        I turned the corner almost falling over at the thought of Zayn leaving me. I looked up from my gaze on the ground seeing the boy I was just thinking of. From the look on his face I knew my worst nightmare came true. "Z-Zayn," I said weakly tears welling up in my eyes.

        He looked at me with anger and betrayal clear in his eyes. I slid down the lockers as my body started to shake. I was going to end up in the hospital. Zayn was going to leave me. I closed my eyes wrapping my arms around my torso. My sobs echoed through the hallway. Then I felt two arms wrap around my shoulders in a comforting hug. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was. Zayn rested his forehead against the side on my head whispering soft, "Shh, Harry"'s in my ear. The attack wasn't great but it was better than it would have been if Zayn didn't stay.

        When my body calmed down I felt cold as Zayn removed all contact. "Zayn," I whimpered looking up at him with red and swollen eyes.

        Zayn looked at me coldly (his calm aura from earlier completely diminished), "Did you kiss back?"

        I looked at him for a moment as I bit my lip trying to keep it from quivering. I looked at his shoe clad feet whispering a barely audible, "Y-yes."

        Zayn stiffened and I pulled my knees to my chest trying to hide my face as more tears spilled.

        I'm such an idiot.

        "Let's get you home," Zayn said emotionlessly tugging on my bicep as if saying 'get up'. I stood up slowly feeling confused.

        "Zayn I-," I stared but the look he gave me shut me up.

        The ride home was silent. When he pulled into my driveway I felt scared. More scared than I had ever been. Swallowing the lump in my throat I tried to speak again, "I didn't-"

        "Leave it, Harry," Zayn growled interrupting me.

        "Wait I need to-"

        "I said leave it!" Zayn boomed his knuckles turning white as they gripped onto the steering wheel tight. I sniffled nodding my head. He then added in a more quiet tone, "I-...I need time to think."

        "O-okay," I choked out opening the car door. By the time I was opening my door Zayn was long gone. I was pleased to see that Mum wasn't home, yet. I crawled up the stairs and up to my room where I sat on the edge of my bed with my head down. I pulled off my jacket and looked down at the old scars littering my left forearm. I hadn't thought about self harming in a long time. The only effort I ever put into anything that has to do with it anymore was hiding the old scars.

        I pulled my hand up and dragged my short nails over my forearm watching as they left thick, red lines and feeling the burn. I loved it. I missed it. I went over to my dresser and pulled out the old, familiar blade I had cut out of a shaving razor when I was thirteen.

        I backed up to my bed feeling the back of my knees hit the edge. I sat down In my previous position. I lifted the blade to the middle of my forearm. What did I have to loose?

        My best friend turned against me and thinks I'm a backstabbing whore.

        My boyfriend lost all trust in me and is probably going to leave me.

        My life seems pointless.

        I felt childish as I thought these things, but I really didn't care. Some of the few people I loved and trusted don't care about me. So why should I care about me? Why should I give a shit about what happens to me? How much this can damage me?

        I pressed down making the blade sink into my arm and I felt the familiar burning sensation course through my body as I drug the cold metal across my skin.

~

I'm so sorry for that. I am.

So I planned on updating earlier, but I went to download Dirty Dancing on my computer and I accidently downloaded a virus (doi I'm Tori and I'm so sart I mean smart). So I spent a few days trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with my wattpad profile because it wouldn't let me

1: Update any stories

2: Look at any stories

3: Vote

4: Comment

5: Look at comments

6: Edit my profile

7: Post any messages

8: Follow anybody

Yeah, I was in so much distress, so about an hour or so ago I reset it and lost some stuff (it didn't delete any of my documents, pictures, music, or any stuff like that).

But, ey, it's fine now!

Thank you beautiful people for reading this!

Love you!

Tori xx