Adjoin [|]SOPE

~36~

"Why do I always need to adjust for your feelings?!"

Hoseok's tears suddenly can't be stopped. The words Namjoon just said felt as if it were daggers piercing through his whole being.

"Joon, I'm not telling you to adjust for me" He said. Trying to not sob as he let out those words.

"Then why do I feel like I need to Seok? Why does your feelings towards me dating Jin even matter?" Namjoon said. Not practically needing Hoseok to anser the question but he nerded to just say it. To just ask it for his reasons.

"I'm just trying to protect you" Namjoon scoffed. Thoughts now all over the place as his anger had already ate him up.

"You are not trying to protect me. You're protecting yourself. You don't want me to be happy because you did not end up happy with him. That's the whole reason for this right? Right Seok?" Hoseok can't utter a word. Was this always the reason why Namjoon can't tell him? Was this always how Namjoon thought about him?

As his tears gushed out of his eyes, sobbing uncontrollably, Namjoon was getting more and more out of hand. He can't grasp his thoughts anymore as protecting the one he adores right now was the only thought making him sane. Getting Hoseok to understand that Jin was the person he likes was his only thought and anger was the only emotion left.

He was not even fazed to Hoseok's tears. He was not even feeling guilty seeing his bestfriend cry like he always do. The caring and gathered Namjoon was eaten up by anger. And he can't seem to get back up any minute soon.

"How selfish can you be?" Namjoon was now practically shouting. And Hoseok was still a crying mess. Feeling his heart clench and almost break as Namjoon, his bestfriend, finally let out his burried thoughts.

"It's always about your feelings! Your sadness! Your pain! It was always abour your past mistakes! Why do all of us needs to adjust for you? Why do I need to adjust for your feelings to have mine? Why can't you be the one to adjust? Why can't you be the one to consider our feelings? To consider the feelings of the people around you? Why can't you atleast for once look at how happy I am with Jin? Why can't you just be happy for me?"

That was probably the longest and the most words Hoseok heard from an angry Namjoon. That was probably the most painful and the most meaningful words Namjoon has blurted out while he was angry.

And Hoseok still just stood there, tears now slowly stopping as those words, as the meaning of those words finally came in his head. Shock, pain and regret was now the only emotions he was feeling and his expression said so.

"Why can't you just for once think about us Seok?" Namjoon again said. Tiredness was now evident on his words. The pain he was feeling and the anger was now subsiding as he now had blurted out his thoughts. The thoughts he so tried to not let out.

And he now had grasp his thoughts. Had now finally realized the words amd the anger he just gaved out to Hoseok, the sudden pang of guilt hit him like a truck. Crushing him as he stared at a now shocked Hoseok, tear stained cheeks, red puffy eyes, sobs leaving his mouths every each second that passed.

He stared at Hoseok and felt so mad at himself. His bestfriend was crying infront of him. Not because someone had bully him, or someone had done something again, but because of him. And Namjoon wanted to hug his friend. But he can't. He knows he needed Hoseol to know everything. Even if it was hurting him in the process.

As they stared at each other. Quietly sobbing, Hoseok nodded his head. Tears still prickling his eyes and almost everything was a blur. He smiled, the smile that means he was trying to understand.

And as Hoseok let his smile out, Namjoon felt his heart drop. Hoseok was trying to understand, and Namjoon wanted to stab himself for that.

He knew Hoseol would try to understand everything for him. He knew he always tried to understand everything and burry himself with the thought that he was being an unreasonable friend. But Namjoon can't take his words back no can he? He can't tell Hoseok that those words he just let out meant nothing, because both of them knew they meant anything but nothing.

He knew Hoseok was always adjusting for them, and they were too. The three of them, Jimin, him, and Hoseok were always adjusting for each other because they were bestfriends. And that's what they are supposed to do right? But Namjopn just let out the words that meant Hoseok was not trying hard enough. And he wanted so badly to just be eaten up by the ground and he saw the smile pass Hoseok's lips.

He wanted to take it all back. Everything, but as he remembered a tall black haired man inside the cabin, trying to gain the trust of Jimin and hos friends, he stopped himself. Hoseok needed to understand. All of them did. And he wanted them tp understand. He needed Hoseok to understand.

That, that black haired man inside the cottage, probably making those ones inside laugh at his corny dad jokes, was his cause of happiness right now. That he always was the cause of his happiness. And as how a lovesick person could get, he would do anything for the man. Even if it meant to have a small crack within him and his bestfriends solid as stone trust. He meant that much to him. And he just hope Hoseok and Jimin would understand him. He just wished the past did not happen. Oh how badly he wanted to go back and tell Hosrok everything before that day. Before their four member group of friend became three. And before, he and Jin needed to hide from his friends.

~♥~

Don't get lost people, flashbacks of what happened will happen in the next few chapters and they are going to be long af, so please bare with this story a little more.

I guess I can keep up with a daily update for now, but I'm still not sticking with that so I won't do tha same mistakes I did last four months ago. I would just try to update everyday and if not, it'll always be every other day. I hope you understand.

I hope you like this chapter even if it was too much filled with pain lmao. I hope you still liked this chapter.

Don't forget to vote ～(^з^)-♡