Forbidden

Chapter 132: Memory

Meredith's hands griped the wheel tightly as she drove home. She didn't know whether to cry or scream. She didn't know what to do, so she did what came to her. Meredith began to scream as loud as she could. There was something about letting the stagnant air that had been trapped in her lungs for so many years, that made her feel better. She screamed until she couldn't anymore. She screamed so loud, she was sure the windows were going to crack.

Sasha. That name rang through her ears and in her mind. She knew the girl. How could she meet her own sister so many times, and not even know who she was? Her stomach rumbled, thinking about how many times she had literally been close enough that their arms touched. Her hair stood on end, remembering the mocha skinned girl with her deep brown eyes. She was beautiful, and she seemed to be the light of her father's life. And as it seemed, her mother's too.

Meredith rushed in her house, tear streaming down her face. She felt so sick. All those years she thought her mother was in Paris, and now she found out the truth. Her mother had moved on without her. Her mother remarried and had a child, not seeming to mind that her daughter was with her father. Meredith pulled out the casserole dish and slammed it around, she had to cook dinner, and the truth was, all she wanted to do was hide in a closet, laying in the fetal position.

Meredith didn't notice that her children and husband had walked in the door. She didn't notice that Derek was standing in front of her. She didn't notice that her cellphone had rang and went to voicemail more than anyone could count. She just didn't notice. But she was going to. She was going to notice rather quickly.

"Meredith!" Derek said as he stood there, hand on his hips. It looked to her like he had been standing there for while. He had, she just had no idea how long it really had been.

"Yeah?" Meredith asked grumpily. She had attitude, and she had no reason to be mad at him. This was all her fault. It quickly came to her what had happened. She forgot to pick her kids up from school. Her phone buzzed busily, completely filled with panicked voicemail, wondering just where she was.

"Where have you been? The school called, the kids were crying. We've all been trying to call you for an hour. I had to leave the hospital in a panic. You are lucky I wasn't in surgery. I don't understand what is going on? I thought you were laying dead somewhere and here you are, sitting on the sofa. What the hell, Meredith?" He growled as he shook his head.

"Um... I guess time got away from me." Meredith said with a sigh as she stood up and looked around. "Oh... I bet the mac and cheese is done." She said as she rushed into the kitchen and pulled the oven open. She was expecting to see it completely dried up and ruined. She sighed as she saw that it was golden brown and bubbling in perfection.

"That's it? I know you can't say that. Not to me. Your phone was going off when I came in. It's been going off. I could understand if it was on silent. What the hell is going on with you, Meredith? You were doing so much better. You hadn't slipped up in so long." Derek said, disappointment in his eyes.

"What's for dinaw?" Francesca said as she ran up to her mom. Meredith smiled as she looked down at her perfect little girl.

"Mac and cheese with broccoli and chicken bits." Meredith said as she poked her daughter's belly gently. "Mommy's sorry she didn't pick you up, baby. It won't happen again." She said softly as she hugged her.

"K wet's eat." She said happily, so easily forgiving her mother for her shortcomings. Meredith shook her head and looked up at Derek, seeing the disappointment in her eyes.

"Come on kids! It's time to eat." Meredith said as she looked around. She heard Cara and Quinn stomp down the stairs, shoving each other all the way.