Forbidden

Chapter 142: Fate

Meredith sat on the edge of her bed. It was getting harder and harder to get herself going. Derek was long gone, and she had encouraged him to go. The children were at school, not having much of a care in the world. They were now going to a fancy and safe private school. Thatcher was off doing only God knew what. And Carol was home. After so long she decided to go back, half considering moving to Seattle to be close to them. At the same time she wanted to be with Nancy. She shared with Derek that she had a feeling that if she left Nancy, the cancer would come back. It was always in her head. So yes, Meredith sat on the edge of her bed, head in her hands.

[i]"It's not the end of the world, honey." Thatcher said softly. Meredith wondered just how in the hell he could say that? It was the end of the world. The end of her world.

"How can you say that?" Meredith gasped. She thought he would be sympathetic. Maybe he was being, but it didn't feel like it. It felt like he was laughing at her. He was mocking her because she failed just as he always said she would. He always said she didn't have the drive. She tried to prove him wring. Unsuccessfully, it seemed. "It is the end of my world... All that I have worked for." Meredith trailed off, staring out her kitchen window. Everything seemed so dark and dull. It was her world that was dark and dull.

"Just because you can't work there, well, it doesn't mean you can't work anywhere." Thatcher told her with a nod. Now she could see that he was being genuine. She could see it in his eyes. He was sad, sad for her.

"Oh yeah, Dad..." Meredith muttered sarcastically. "Another hospital is really going to hire me. I am me... Damn-it! I am me. I don't want to be Meredith Grey. I have worked so hard to be someone else. Now all of my work... My credentials mean nothing. It all means nothing because I am a disturbance. Patients hate me. No one will let me treat them. And the danger to everyone..."

"Oh Meredith, it's not that bad." Thatcher told her softly as he placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Oh god..." Meredith said as she turned away from him and took a gasping breath. "You didn't see it... I understand! I understand why they wouldn't want me around."

Meredith remembered that day. She was standing on the balcony with Derek. They were having casual conversation when they heard the screaming. Apparently the paparazzi had been filled in on a story. It happened to be a story that had absolutely not truth to it. Unfortunately it was a story that had fired them up so much that they rushed the doors when they saw her. They ended up running down and older woman and cracking her rib. Someone's test results had went flying. And there was one person still in a coma. It seemed to insane. How could so much happen so quickly? Had she not seen it, she wouldn't have believed it.

After patients started getting injured, she had to be let go. Richard was upset about it, she could tell. He really didn't want to let her go. At first he used her as a money maker and a claim to fame, but eventually it hit him that in a way they were family. She was part of a woman that he loved. She knew he didn't want to fire her, but no one would come to a hospital where there was so much chaos. No one wanted to get better at a hospital where they had the potential to get hurt worst than when they came in.

"I will get your job back. I will make this right." Thatcher told her with a nod. He could do it, too. There was nothing in the world that could stop him when he was on a mission.

"No, dad. I don't even... I don't want my job back. I don't want to be where I'm not wanted. I don't want to do more harm than good. I took the Hippocratic Oath. I just... I'm done." Meredith told him with a shrug. She had given up.