Once In a Lifetime

Chapter 15

Hey babes, this chapter took a little longer than normal but its here! sooo have fun reading

<3

After that god awful talk the other boys finally came back. Completely clueless of what just happened. They made dinner and I didn't help because wasn't even allowed to be in the kitchen. Harry still forbade me to do anything. Not just because I fainted yesterday but also because of my hand, that is doing way better by the way.

I'm usually not that clumsy. I don't even know why it went wrong. It's like I suddenly turned into y/n. The character of y/n is always the same. Clumsy, extremely dumb, and pretty. And being pretty is not even a character trait. But I guess that's what my fate is?

I'm trying not to think about the talk but it's in the back of my mind all the time. How cool is it that I can now say I've had the talk? I'm not saying I want to have it again, because I hated it. I hate hate hate talking about my feelings with other people if I'm not the one who's starting it.

It's like all the attention is suddenly on me. I don't mind attention. I secretly love it, but just not in that way. That's why I never ask for help. I think asking for help is kinda embarrassing. And I don't mean that for others. They are very strong if they are able to ask for help, and if they are brave enough to ask for help, but it's just not for me.

My parents never ask how I really feel, so I'm not used to expressing my feelings that way. They were never really the affectionate type. That's the difference between me and them, because I am. I love hugs, and just small things like holding hands. It's a different way of saying you care about someone and I like that. I sometimes wish my parents would just give me a hug or tell me that everything is going to be ok.

I went inside to grab a sweater, and to scream in a pillow because it was getting a little too much. That's also a habit of mine. I just need to scream if things get overwhelming. I also grabbed something else, and I was a little anxious to give it to them.

We were eating potatoes, greens, and salmon. It tasted good, even if it was simple. I wonder who's idea the potatoes were?

Oh, we should eat shrimps soon. I love fish, like sushi or fish from the oven or... wait are shrimps even fish? I don't know. I think shrimp is shellfish. You could see that as fish, but technically it isn't.

"what's this?" Niall asked as he picked up the key that was laying in front of him.

"it's a key?" I mocked louis' accent.

They all furrowed their brows and Niall asked, "for what?"

"uhm, my door?" this is the part I'm anxious about.

"your door?" Harry asked

I nodded and repeated, "my door. So that if something goes wrong, you can just go inside." I looked at my plate to avoid eye-contact. Maybe I shouldn't have done this.

I wish I could just read what they were thinking because this is killing me.

They were completely silent. Never really had a comfortable silence, but I surely agree with comfortable silences being overrated.

It just stays silent, and I want to crumble in pieces and fly away with the wind. I want to turn into liquid and be absorbed into the ground. I so shouldn't have done this.

I finally decided to look up and they all had wide grins on their faces. A small smile quirked up my lips.

Okay... maybe it was a good idea after all.

"thank you." Niall said with a nod. I like seeing them smile.

Louis and Harry were looking at each other and I flicked my eyes between them. Harry nodded and Louis turned to look at me and started, "What do you know about Eleanor?"