(Hiatus) Eyes Of The Gods (L X Reader)

27: A Quiet Alleyway Chat

Hey. Long time no see!
I'm not dead. I'm not gonna list of reasons as to why I haven't updated in a while- I'm just generally unmotivated. I'm trying to get in to some kind of counseling program to maybe make me feel less like crap all the time, but needless to say that process has been slow. Thanks for bearing with me, snd thanks for all rhe love you've given this story thusfar :)

     "He won," Y/N mumbled softly. "I mean, I knew that would happen, but it still sucks." She dipped her spoon into the cup and pushed the foam on top of the brew from side to side. "I've been thinking a lot lately."

     "I know. It's extremely annoying." L dropped a third, a fourth, a fifth sugar cube into his cup, staring straight down into it, before picking up his spoon. "Explain to me when you decided Light Yagami was worth saving."

    "He's not. I should have killed him." L stopped stirring. "I was hoping for the second-best possible outcome- an outcome in which Misa and Light give up being Kira and live happily ever after, Misa gets the love of her life and I get to go back to my work."

     "That's impossible. Light isn't the love of her life." He took his spoon out and set it beside the cup. "Besides, you said you weren't a murderer."

     There's a notebook that kills people. Nothing is impossible. "If I was a murderer, I missed my shot by getting all sappy in there." And she'd never forgive herself. "My second best-case scenario is gone. The third best was Light dies and Misa forgets this all happened. That's gone too. I've practically handed my life over to him."

     "What's the best-case scenario?" L asked, leaning his elbows on the table. "Is that still an option?"

     Y/N rose an eyebrow. "Is that a real question?" He nodded. "Well, think about what all of the other options have in common." More silence. Y/N wrapped her fingers around the cup and brought it to her lips, sipping it once and setting it back down. "You die in all the other options. The best-case scenario is I somehow manage to defy death on your part and imprison Light. Misa is let free and you don't press charges against her."

     "Mm." L didn't move, searching for a hidden meaning or intention in her proposal. "While I'm flattered, I can see why you didn't bring that option up."

     She laughed, then brought one of her legs onto the seat and hugged it to her chest. It was subconscious, like she was picking up on L's habits simply from being around him. "That's not good to hear. That's the option I'm going for."

     L looked up, and after detecting no trace of joviality he scoffed. "So you've given up?"

     "Well, if you do die, I send all intel I have to your orphanage and go out swinging at Light until he inevitably has me executed and blamed for his murders. If my whole life has been a lie and you don't die," she hissed a breath in through her teeth, managing a close-lipped smile, "...we catch Kira. I'm beginning to hate Light Yagami almost as much as I love Misa." She rested her chin on her knee. "All cards on the table, right?

     "Why keep being petty? Why keep things from you? If you die, these things die with you, so fuck it! I'm gonna try and save your life. It's what I should have been doing this whole time and you should be pissed that I've been so obnoxiously useless." A pause. Y/N cleared her throat. "Sorry, went off on a tangent there. I'm just saying that caution is out the window and I'm going to stop being an idiot."

     "That's bold." He stated, unsure what to make of it, unsure whether it was a good idea to tell her that she wasn't an idiot. "Did you just decide to do this, or do you have a plan?"

     Y/N did not say anything at first. She ran through the conversation in her head a few times, trying to decide what she could and could not tell him. She wasn't stupid- she knew that even though L didn't want to die he'd prevent any plan that got her or his other successors killed, or one that let Light win. "I've got a plan, but first we should get you up-to-speed," Y/N drawled, her smile becoming genuine, reaching toward her eyes, "let's start with a talk about Shinigami."