What If I Jumped? (Kiribaku)

• Chapter Forty-three •

Bakugo's pov

The day was Saturday, 11am.

It had been around two weeks since me and Kiri made up. It was such a relief to have him back again, and I'm sure he felt the same way, but he just seemed so stressed about everything. It was understandable but I hate seeing him get so worked up..

For the first few days after we sorted everything out about Denki, he wouldn't even sleep properly. He was awake until four in the morning most nights, crying. I did my best to comfort him, kissing him, hugging him, telling him that everything's okay, which I could tell he appreciated, but I don't think it really got through to him that I forgave him.

Even now, he wouldn't eat much either. The most he'd ate in the last three days were a few slices of toast and maybe two sandwiches.

It wasn't much.

We were currently sat on the couch in the common room, after feeding Yoko and playing with her a bit, his hand in mine. No one else was in the room so we could speak freely, for once.

I did have a few suggestions to stop him being so tense, but I doubt he'd say yes to most of them. Then again, it wouldn't hurt to ask anyway.

"Angel-" I asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Huh?" Kiri looked at me, confused, "What do you mean? I'm fine, baby-"

"Kiri..you know that isn't true.." I sat cross legged and moved to face him, still holding his hand.

"So what's going on?" I asked again, softly.

He mirrored my actions, sitting, facing me.

"I just feel a bit down, that's all. I'll be alright soon, don't worry-"

"Can you tell me why you're feeling down?"

I massaged his fingers with my thumb, tenderly.

He sighed, looking at our hands, "It's about alot of things.. It's hard to explain."

"Take your time, it's okay. I'll listen to you, I won't judge you." I leaned forward to kiss his forehead, then going back to playing with his fingers.

He looked hesitantly into my eyes, then nodding.

"I trust you, so I'll tell you."

I stayed silent so he could talk.

"..If I had to guess, I'd say it's because of what I did a couple weeks ago with..him. I know you want to move past, and I do too, but it's hard to do that when I feel so guilty for hurting you. I feel like I don't deserve this, don't deserve you, because you're still so kind to me..and it makes me feel like shit. I just feel like I need to atone, properly for what I did, but I can't cut.. and it's all too much."

He let go of my hands and looked at his wrists, "It's weird, but I miss the feeling I'd get after cutting. It's a really good feeling, I can't describe it. It makes me feel peaceful."

I watched as he glided his fingers over his scars, carefully.

"Angel, please let me try to help you."

"I don't need hel-"

"Kiri."

He looked back up to me.

"..How would you help me?"

"...We both need a break from everything. Even being in this school is too much, so why don't we just take a vacation?"

"Like last time?"

"This time we can go anywhere you want."

"But what about U.A?"