Fading Sorrow

Farewell my love

Previously

But I noticed, every time we were about to get closer and closer, you would pull back again.

There was something mysterious about you. I didn't quiet really understand you!

But it didn't stop me from falling in love with you, now and never................

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5 Days later

I took a deep breath as I stood in front of the fire. I will miss this place, it was like a cure for my hiraeth. The past few days, it felt like I had found a home again.

But I know I have to leave now, this is not my real home and it will never be one.

I should leave before Jihun comes, it's hard to say goodbye to him. I tried hard to hold back my tears. I shouldn't have caught feelings for him in the first place, but it all happened. And I know he doesn't feel the same way for me. After all, I am that poor foreign girl who doesn't belong here.

He confused me a lot. Every time it seemed like we were getting closer to each other, he would push me away again. But I shouldn't think of it, he was just taking care of me. Trying hard to whelve all the feelings I had for him, I took a step back and turned around to leave.

I'll miss you Jihun, I definitely will.........

"Leaving without a goodbye? " I turned around as I heard his voice

Jihun ............

"I am sorry, I am not good at saying goodbye " I said as my voice became weak.

Seeing him made me weak, making it very hard for me to leave. Because I wish he would stop me from leaving.

He started to walk closer and stood still in front of me.

" Take care of yourself, Ara " He stared into my eyes, it hurt. It deeply hurt me, I tried to smile, turning into a eccedentesiast.

"I will thank you for everything Jihun, " I said looking into his eyes.

There was some kind of sadness in his eyes. I wasn't sure why.

If he wanted me to stay, he wouldn't let me go. Was there something stopping him from making me stay? Why did he always have to keep a wall between us?

I took a step back and turned around, slowly started walking away. My heart clenched in pain, why did it hurt so much? Why did my heart feel so heavy? It felt like I was leaving my soul behind, felt so desolated. That's when I realized that I have dangerously fallen in love with a man I had known only for a week.

I was surely in love with this man..........

I suddenly stopped in my tracks, it felt like something took over me. I wanted to feel his embrace for one last time.

I turned around and started to run towards him as I threw myself into his arms. I held him tightly, not wanting to let go, waiting for his arms to hold me back.

What had gotten into me? What was I doing? Why was I doing this? I had no idea...... All I wanted was to be near him, with him.

I felt his arms slowly grabbing me. I didn't want him to let go, ever......

His arms felt like a home to me. Inside this strange country where I didn't belong to, I only felt safe here. My tears started trickling down my cheeks and I let go of him. Without saying a word I pulled away to walk from here. I don't think I will be able to leave if I even spend one more moment here.

He suddenly grabbed my arm and me against him, pushing his lips on mine as he gave me a sweet kiss. He pulled away as he held my face close to his.

"I am sorry Ara, that I have to let you go... But you are not safe with me." My heart was beating so fast, my mind was going crazy. What did he mean by that? He let go of me and slowly disappeared.

You always kept a certain distance between us Jihun. It felt like you were hiding something from me............