Fading Sorrow

My heart refuses to Believe

 Previously,

I slowly walked and laid down under a big tree far away from all the people. I just stared at the breathtaking night sky.

"He surely is the most intimidating person in the whole existence ."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't get him out of my head. He was addictively invading my senses. The pieces of my heart that had been struggling to fit into this universe seemed to become quiet whenever I was with him. As if, as if they had found their peace, as if they had got what they wanted to bridge their gaps and connect. All my sorrows fading just at the glance of him.

Memories of him began playing in my head. All those lovely times we spent together. He walked into my life when the world walked out on me. Even if it was only for a short time I had the best time of my life. Water flooded my eyes but I had a smile on my lips. He made me happy, he took care of me. But I am sure of one thing, I can never escape the way I love him.

He can't be a ruthless ruler.

My heart refuses to believe that no matter what. He had good skills of hiding his emotions right from the beginning. I guess he is doing that even now. If he was the crowning prince why would he live out of the kingdom? Why would he run away from his family?

If he didn't want to become the king and if that's why he was on the run then why would he return to the kingdom? What happened after I left him? Was this why he wanted me to leave? Why did he say that it was dangerous for me to stay with him? What is happening?

All these questions are rising in my head .

Seeing the night sky reminds me of his eyes. The soothing breeze reminds me of his embrace. The ground feels like his lap. Everything reminds me of him, all the things he did. The same air which was helping me soothe my emotions was now suffocating me until I could barely breathe. I am missing him so badly. I am going to go crazy without him, his touch.

I have been dying to see him. And now finally he is here in front of me and I will not lose him again. Never in a million years.

I have always been weak. If I continue to stay weak I am going to lose everything all over again. I have to become strong to save myself and to protect my love. I know I have gone through a lot of pain but staying weak won't help me a bit. Balance, I think this describes the world the best. For every death there is a birth and for every pain there is happiness. This is so hard for me. Everything has always been hard for me right from birth. I wish I would have been taught as a kid that every time I fall in love I will be wounded.

But I believe no pain is eternal, no bruises will forever ache. How much ever I complain about my life this is the thing which has driven me to live even after I faced all these.

I have always wondered if I will ever have a place, a role to play in reality I find myself in or if I am destined to wander the earth alone and lost forever until I found him. I will find out the truth. I will bring my old Jihun back. My love for him is inevitable. The moon has to descend in order for the sun to rise. And I have to let go of my fear to get him back, to get my happiness back. I love him and I am nothing more than a lifeless human covered with skin and bone without him. He taught me to live and love. I am not ready to lose someone as precious as him. I never thought I would fall this hard for someone. I am so madly in love with him. I will find out about everything that happened. I will not be ignorant, not anymore.

I will fight for my love. I will fight for myself.

Ranking:

#30 in period

#10 in evil king

#1 in Korean fiction

#2 in Asian

#12 in period drama

#3 in historical love