Sinister

My baby

Through the hourglass, I saw you, in time you slipped away

I tried to stop myself from falling down the rabbit hole of despair but he was constantly poking and prodding at my mind. "Mori what would you like to eat". "Mori come here let's cuddle". "Mori you know I care about you". "Mori Mori Mori", always saying my name with that sickly sweet undertone, laced with manipulation. Although I knew it was all an act my heart still fluttered every time. I was right where he wanted me. Mentally chained up and only he had the key. God fucking dammit.

I stared at myself in the mirror, gently pressing and pulling at the bruised skin on my neck. I was pretending to be interested when in all honesty I was bored. Having bruises was nothing new, I was more agitated by this damn garter digging into my flesh than anything else.
Humiliation surely outweighed the pain. The girl in the mirror grinned, wagging her pointer finger as if to say "you can't fool me I see the true you, the you behind all the deception". I leaned forward, challenging her. "Oh yeah, then what am I?". Her grin switched to a clownish frown, "pure evil". I scoffed, flipping the light switch off.

I stood motionless in the dark, before remembering Roman was waiting for me outside, and if I didn't return soon it would arise suspicion. I forced myself to open the door. His eyes flickered from the t.v screen to me, then back at the screen. I went over to the bed, and laid in my usual spot."About last night, I lost my temper and I shouldn't have put my hands on you". Was he just telling me what I wanted to hear or was it genuine? Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me three times and—-what was it again? Shame on me twice I guess.

Saying something corny like "you're mine" sounded like he thought of me more like property than a lover. I was neither. Maybe he didn't know how to convey his frustration so rage took over. That's what happens to me anyway. "Do you love me less now that I've..." there was a hint of sadness in his voice. I sat up, looking him in the eye. "Now that you've what?". "Hurt you". I wanted to forgive him and believe there was some sincerity in his words but I couldn't. He's a borderline psychopath after all.

"Are sociopaths capable of love or is it all just an illusion". It would be hypocritical of me to talk about sincerity and truth when I was doing the exact opposite. "Who told you that?". I shrugged, "no one, I mean you can't feel love so maybe I can't either". He pinched the bridge of his nose, "that's not what I'm talking about. Who told you that you were a sociopath". "My mom's boyfriend who has a degree in psychology". He threw his hands up in the air, "You keep letting people plant these little seeds into your head and you think they're flowers when in fact, they're weeds". In conclusion, I'm surrounded by liars. Great.

He leaned forward, gently caressing my cheek, "Don't trust anyone except me". I melted under his touch and the way his eyes crinkled with kindness. Wait a damn minute. I backed away, realizing what he was doing. "Don't try that with me you know very well I'll fall for it". His eyes went back to normal, losing all their warmth. "I was proving a point". It was scary how quickly his mask slid off then grew back on like snakeskin. It was fitting in a way. His cold beady eyes and calm demeanor were that of a snakes.

I awkwardly cleared my throat, "you never answered my question".

"I don't know everything in the world, stop expecting me to".

"Since neither of us knows the true definition of love then let's just make one up".

"Alright".

I fell back on the bed, slightly annoyed by his lack of enthusiasm. Oh well. "Love is when you would commit a crime for someone". He laughed. The sound came from deep within, it was strange but contagious. "Why is the first thing you think of when—". "WHAT'S LOVE WITHOUT SACRIFICING YOURSELF FOR THE OTHER PERSON!". Why didn't he understand the obvious? "Let's be realistic here, it's every man for himself, this isn't some Shakespearean tragedy". I rolled my eyes. No one was talking about a damn tragedy. "Why don't you add something since you have so much to say".