Sinister

Encoré

Victim: A person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action

I was drowning; both metaphorically and physically. My body; was submerged in a vintage porcelain tub filled to the brim with despair. My mind; drowning in traumatic memories and what ifs. Whore. That's the label that was forced upon me by not only my mother but seemingly the rest of the world. I was something promiscuous with my short skirts and bedroom eyes. I was a nymphette, using my innocence to lure men away from their wives and entice them into an affair. I was a maneater, enjoying the delicacies that are the hearts of the vulnerable.
I was a whore. I was a whore for allowing those old men to touch me. I was a whore for allowing myself to feel pleasure from someone who was not Roman.

A soft knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. "Mori, it's b-b-been an hour...c-c-can I come in?" Adonis asked, desperately clinging to the notion that I was a helpless child in constant need of supervision. "Go away" I muttered, my words disappearing into aquatic bubbles. He knocked again, "Mori pl-please open the door." I brought my head out from the water—- just enough to confirm my childish nature with a laugh. "Pl-please" he whined. I sighed, forcing my body out of the comfort of despair, and into the bleakness of reality. My wet feet slapped noisily against the floor, announcing my arrival at the door. I twisted the already unlocked knob—-unbeknownst to him— and opened the door.

"What is it".

His eyes widened at my au naturale state. Of course, I've seen his paintings that were supposedly created in my image; hidden fantasies under the guise of art, but in the flesh I was nothing like the angelic girl whose bruises and scars were depicted as something beautifully tragic. No, I was something grotesque, repulsive, disgusting. He pitied me, I could see it. "What do you want" I repeated impatiently. His eyes darted to the floor, embarrassed. "W-w-well  James wanted to talk to you b-b-but I told him you were taking a bath s-s-so he asked me to—". "James is a fucking pervert. I have nothing to say to him" I blurted angrily, my face burning from both embarrassment and anger. His brows crumpled with confusion, "p-pervert?". "He saw us in the hallway and smiled!" I whisper-yelled. "A-are you sure?".
Was I sure? "What do you mean are you sure?" I asked incredulously. "W-well s-s-sometimes you..." he trailed off, searching for the right words to soften the blow.

I didn't wait for the words to trip over themselves in the form of a stutter or for my anger to gradually dissipate into understanding. I slammed the door in his face, not expecting my attempt to be blocked at the last moment. I watched in horror as his bandaged fingers curled around the door like talons, and an animalistic stare overtook the puppy dog loyalty of his eyes. I pushed against him, furious by his betrayal. Suddenly possessing the strength of two men, he shoved the door open, forcing his way inside. "Are you going to hurt me?" I smiled, tilting my head to the side arrogantly—because I knew he wouldn't dare, although I wanted him to try. He took a step forward, countering my arrogance. Had he been lying to me this entire time? Pretending to be weak and helpless, waiting patiently for the right moment to attack?

"What're you doing?"

"Y-y-y-you wouldn't let me in. I-I-I just wanted to make sure you were okay...I thought you hurt yourself..." he rambled on.

"If I hurt myself then what?".

"I would b-b-be upset...because y-you didn't talk to m-me."

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME ADONIS! YOU TRY SO HARD TO GET CLOSE TO ME AND REPLACE HIM BUT YOU'RE NOT HIM! YOU WILL NEVER BE HIM! YOU SUFFOCATE ME! YOU'RE ALWAYS FUCKING THERE, WATCHING ME, LISTENING, WAITING UNTIL IM AT MY LOWEST TO COME AND PLAY WHITE KNIGHT! AND WHEN I DO NEED YOU YOU'RE COMPLETELY SILENT AND USELESS. YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT MY PAIN, YOU JUST USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT WILL GET ME TO LOOK AT YOU. 'OH USE ME MORI. HURT ME INSTEAD. I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DO'. YOU SICK FUCK. YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE."