Mistakes

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Gaege Pov

Halfway home, it started raining. The sweatshirt is soaked and I trudge home. My throat stings and my eye sight gets a little blurry. Once I reach home, I yank off the sweatshirt and Eddie's clothes. I put on some sweats and collapse on the couch. Now in the comfort of my own apartment, I let the tears comes. Choked sobs release out of my throat. My sweat pants are soaked in tears after about an hour of crying. It's now 1 in the afternoon, and my stomach growls. I grab a little bit of food and eat it. I turn the TV on to a mind numbing show. My eyes stare blankly at the screen. Eddie didn't understand what I was trying to say. And I didn't want to have to say it. It thought I had finally found someone that was good for me. I never trusted people. That's why I always left. I didn't believe that anyone could love me. So, I've always used sex as a way of getting the closest I thought I ever could to people. But now I had to go and do something stupid. I had to fall for someone. Just because I started hanging out with him, didn't mean that he liked me. And he was drunk last night. So he wasn't thinking. And I wasn't thinking. After a few hours and "watching" TV, it's around 6:30. I decide to change into some of my more "slutty" clothes. I call and Uber to pick me up. He drops me off at a local club. The same one I met Eddie at. But I try not to think about that.

"Hey cutie," I hear from behind me. I turn around. It's a very hot guy. I blink my eyes at him innocently.

"Hello," I say. We talk for a little bit and he buys me a drink, which I'm thankful for, because I forgot my wallet. Soon, I'm ready to jump his bones. I never did learn his name. He brings me back to his apartment and after he f*cks me, I leave. I grab my clothes and walk down the streets of New York. Rain drops fall from the roofs of buildings. Some hit me on the head. Even in my slightly drunken state, I feel bad. Even though this was just a random guy, and Eddie and I aren't anything, I felt like I cheated on him. That I did something against him. I reach my house and get inside. I take off my clothes and collapse on the couch. I stare up at the ceiling, thinking about Eddie. My ass doesn't even hurt. Not the way it does with Eddie.


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