Agent Gray, Red with Love

The Phone Man Can't Make A Decent Phone Call

  "This. This right here is quite possibly the worst idea you have ever come up with," Zari hissed at Devineaux, "And that is saying something."

  "Gotta agree with Zari. What the heck are we thinking?" Graham asked. "This. Is a terrible plan. Absolutely horrible."

  "Well, maybe we should have thought of that before we went to Chief and called in sick. Then maybe we wouldn't be lying to her or standing here," Felix grumbled. 

  "No, it's not Chief I'm worried about. Besides, we got Rodger's okay, so if she gets mad he'll cover for us. He likes Devineaux. But why are we here?" Graham asked, motioning up at the towering parapets of the university in France where one Julia Argent worked. 

  Yes, Julia Argent. The only person who might know where in the world Carmen was, and also the one person who wanted nothing to do with ACME. Now they were showing up at her workplace. "I've never even met her accept for when she supervised my recruitment, and even I know we're screwed," Graham sighed.

  "I—... We must stop wasting time! Like a panther about to pounce on a baby goat, we must pounce on the opportunity or we will starve!" Deveinaux announced.

  "He haven't starved after missing our last million opportunities, I think we'll still get our pay-checks if we don't bother Agent Argent," Zari reminded him.

  Felix looked mortified, "Why does the goat have to be a baby?"

  "Whatever," Devineaux grumbled back.

  "Nice suits, losers!" Some French student yelled from across the pavilion, commenting at how ridiculous the four agents must've looked on a college campus in full ACME attire.

  "Ignore the twenty year old," Graham said, "We look great."

  "Hold up, aren't you twenty?" Felix asked. 

  "I'm twenty-three, thank you very much," Graham said.

  "Okay, I'm going to open this door in three.... two...." Devineaux counted.

  "Devineaux no—" Zari tried to stop him, but it was too late. Deveinaux swung open the door and called, "Miss Argent! We require your—Er..." and was greeted with the confused and judging stares of about twenty five college students, as they looked upon the four suit-wearing lunatics who had interrupted their lecture on Norse mythology. Julia Argent herself stood at the podium, not sure what to make of their interruption. 

  "Sir, you are 15 minutes late to the lecture," she said trying to stay under control after the outburst, "So I have to ask you to leave and wait outside for the next lecture by Dr. Mellark in about forty five minutes."

  As Devineaux, still standing with his arm extended in a dramatic point started rethinking his approach, and considered the possibility that he hadn't totally thought this through,  Graham got an idea. He peeked behind the door frame, and announced, "Sorry for the inconvenience, madam, we thought this was Miss San Diego's lesson talking about the discovery of.... well, you know."

  Julia must've recognized what he was saying. "Oh," she said dumbstruck at the prospect of ACME actually doing anything successfully, "Yes... that's in thirty minutes soon after this lecture wraps up on the upper floor. Can you wait that time?"

  Graham smiled, "Sure thing, Miss! Au revoir!" And then he grabbed Devineaux's wrist  and marched them out.

  Felix recommended that they get some food, a suggestion he instantly regretted as he watched Graham shovel frites (French fries/chips) into his mouth. Zari took a dainty bite of her sandwich as Devineaux consumed a pastry. He picked at his salad. "Okay, what's the game plan?"