always you² | derek morgan. ✓

13 | change.

charlotte rhodes.

My eyes search the sunset as my heart races, beating faster and faster within the minute. Strong amounts of adrenaline rush through my bones, my mind travelling a thousand miles per hour with thoughts — the small, comfortable silence between Derek and I not making this decision any easier.

How the hell do I tell him that I want to foster a child I've never even met?

How the hell do I tell him that I want to foster a child, even after everything we've been through in the last year and a half?

How the hell do I spring something like this onto him?

Are we even ready for this all? Am I getting too attached to this case? Am I making this seem like it needs to happen because I'm in too deep with this case and now I can't back out?

I sigh softly as I keep my eyes fixated on the sunset, "I want to foster Louie." I blurt out, letting out a sharp exhale of relief — the heavy feeling of the thought weighing of my shoulders slowly washing away.

Derek stays dead silent — my brow furrows slightly in confusion, turning to see why he isn't answering.

Derek's facial expression goes cold as he lets out a sharp breath, "W-What?" Derek stammers, his brows furrowing as he tries his hardest to process my words.

"I want to foster Louie." I repeat.

"I- Are you sure we're ready for that?" He asks.

I shrug, "I want what's best for Louie. The kid has gone to hell and back. I don't want them putting him back in the system. If he goes back to the system, who knows what will happen to him next." I state.

Derek's brow furrows as he walks over to me, "Charlotte, slow down. Process what you're saying for a second." He states, stepping in front of me as he places his hands firmly on my shoulders.

I shake my head slightly at Derek's words, "I have already processed this for a second, Derek — I have been processing it all fucking day." I pause, letting out a heavy breath, "I have been racking my mind about this case all day, driving myself insane, trying to figure out how I can fucking help Louie when he's found-" I begin.

"If he is found." Derek cuts me off.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I ask, my brow furrowing heavily as I take slight offense to Derek's words.

"I'm just saying, we don't know when Louie will be found — if he is found." Derek states.

"He's going to be found. I know he will." I state.

Derek shakes his head slightly, letting out a sharp exhale in defeat, "You're not listening, love." He states.

I shake my head at Derek's words, "No, you're not fucking listening. Louie needs a family. He has been tossed around for way too fucking long..." I begin.

"Just like you?" Derek asks, harshly.

I push Derek away, "Fuck you." I mutter.

"Love, that's not what I meant and you know that it's not." He states in his own defense, noticing that he fucked up with his words.

"It's exactly what you meant." I state, "You know damn well that's what you meant."

"No, it's not. Can we just take a breath and talk about this?" He asks.

I nod wordlessly, piercing my lips together.

"This could change so much for us. This couls result horribly for us." Derek states.