The Moon & His Sun

A Rainy Day

  I closed my bedroom door behind me with my back and just leaned against it for a minute, my thoughts rampaging.

  I slid down it as I felt my knees grow weak, my hands covering my face; shielding it from the world.

  'Mom heard us?! How? I thought I was being quiet!'

  I groaned loudly in both agitation and embarrassment as I ran my hands down my face.

  Then, I got up and went to my dresser.

  'I really need to get out...I need some air or I'm going to suffocate.'

  I grabbed some clothes and proceeded to change out of my pajamas and into my usual attire.

Then I moved to the stairs; quietly creeping down them.

'You know you'll most likely get in trouble for this, right?', my thoughts yelled at me.

'Don't care.', I spat back as I quietly opened the front door to my house, then closed it behind me then I began walking, not really caring where I was going.

I just let my feet guide me.

'What if your actions upset your precious Mitsuki again?'

'...', I'll admit my conscious got me there. It knew damn well it hit a nerve whenever I didn't have anything to fight back with.

So, it continued to taunt me.

'You know it's your fault that you hurt him last time.'

'Yeah...'

'I'm still surprised that he chose to be with you even after that stunt.'

'It's because he loves me and he doesn't want any harm to come to me. I feel the same way about him. I'd kill any bastard who'd try to hurt him.'

'So you'd kill yourself?'

I stopped right where I was. Those four simple words left me feeling dreadful. I didn't know what to say back.

I mean, these thoughts have become a normal occurrence and they just keep getting worse.

I found out that things like this lead to serious cases of depression, but I never told anyone about it because it would just be stupid.

I'll fight this stupid voice in my head myself. No one needs to know just weak and pathetic I am that I let a simple voice get the best of me.

I mean, I know how bad this thing can get. But I'd never do anything crazy enough to hurt anyone else because of my selfish actions.

I'd never let myself get wrapped up in something like self harm or ending my own life. Especially when there's that bright light that I see everyday that brings me utter joy.

Mitsuki.

God, I still can't believe we've been dating for almost 2 months. I have never been this happy in my life.

My life started going downhill after my dad became hokage. My self worth started to crumble as he seemed to forget about me.

He always made it sound like work was SOOOO much more important to him than me; that he could easily just forget about me.

Like I was nothing.

But after getting to know Mitsuki, the light that I thought was gone for good, came back.