Burn My Paranoia One Last Time

19. Boarded Up History

"You know.. I've always admired her," Carmen confessed, staring out across the cement balcony. She watched as orange and gold leaves drifted gracefully off the branches of trees lining the student courtyard.

She shook her head. "Sometimes, I want to be a bit jealous. But I can't, I can only help but feel proud for her." Carmen smiled. "I feel so honored to be friends with someone as dedicated, hardworking, and courageous as Amber. She knows what she wants from life, and she's not afraid to go for it."

"But admiration can sometimes overshadow faults.. faults you wish you would have noticed," Shelby warned as she peered at her friend worriedly.

"Sure," Carmen looked away and shrugged. "Amber may be a bit snarky and blunt, but she means well. She's like that because she cares, she probably hates showing it though."

"You're softhearted," Shelby held her hand over Carmen's gently. "How do you know.. you can trust her?"

Carmen flinched at her sudden coldness. "Why would you ask such a thing?"

"Oh Carm..." Shelby shook her head pitifully. "I'm afraid you only see people through rose-tinted glasses."

"What?"

Shelby stepped closer and caressed her hair, adjusting a dark curl behind Carmen's ear. "I only want to keep you safe. People aren't always who you think they are."

"Shelby, we've known Amber for years. I really don't understand why you're talking about her like that," Carmen pushed her hand away and focused back on the courtyard.

The leaves had all fallen by now. The space seemed so empty, there were only gray trees now. It seemed the wind had swept away the color from the ground, leaving the courtyard quite somber.

"What if she's just using us? You said she's the kind to do whatever it takes for success. Maybe we're just her tools. Once she's done using us she'll leave." Shelby gripped the cement balcony.

"That's not true! What's gotten into you?"

"How have you not noticed? You're good for her appearance, but nothing else. You better watch out, you don't want to be the one thing standing in her way."

"Shut up!" Carmen yelled and gripped her head. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

Her eyes drifted to a dark crack on the railing. Was that there before..?

"You're a smart girl, but people won't like you for making them feel inadequate," Shelby deadpanned.

"But I'm not—"

"Your softness doesn't allow you to see, let me help," Shelby smiled, stepping up to her swiftly. She pressed her thumbs into Carmen's eyes, sending her screaming in pain.

***

Carmen awoke with a gasp, reaching gingerly for her eyes to make sure they were still there. Thankfully, it had only been a dream.

She scoped her surroundings. Carmen was inside a quiet classroom. It looked like some of the other students had fallen asleep, too. On her desk was an open AP Economics book. Now she remembered, everyone had been assigned to read a few chapters silently. No wonder so many people had dozed off.

What could the last part of that dream mean, though?

Carmen jolted when the bell rang for lunch. It sure was perfect timing, she'd just have to finish the rest at home. She packed her books hurriedly and rushed out the classroom.