Burn My Paranoia One Last Time

1. Gazebo at the Top of the Hill

I took in a sharp breath and gripped the stone-cold railing before me. I only had an hour left before I had to go. I exhaled, a foggy cloud of breath forming and fading into darkness.

Looking out into the distance, I could see a cluster of dead trees shuddering. Graves poked out from the ground, the wind blowing colorless leaves through the aisles.

I could see everything from the gazebo at the top of the hill. It was rather lonely at this hour, only the moon kept me company. But after every torturous hour of blinding sunlight, I couldn't say I hated it. The cold was my safety, warmth was betrayal.

I traced the stone railing with a finger, trying in vain to leave my mark on this world through a mere brush of dust. I lifted my finger to my face and looked at it. Clean, soft chocolate skin stared back at me. There was still dust on the surface of the railing I had brushed with my finger. I leaned down, took in a deep breath, and blew on it.

Nothing. I clutched the railing with both hands and blew harder until my head went numb. I ran my hand over the stone, yet the dust remained untouched. I ran my hand over it again, again and again and again and I slapped it, screaming in frustration until I backed up into another column. I wrapped my long cardigan over me and sobbed, covering my mouth with my hand.

I had already lost hope in anyone hearing me. Not then.. not ever. I was so alone, and I didn't even know why.

My back slipped down the wall and I hopelessly glanced up, the distorted moon and stars looking down at me with pity through the stained glass dome of the gazebo.

I wondered if I could have gone straight up had I had a peaceful soul. Unfortunately, fate had chosen me to live out my eternal existence in this purgatory.

In just an hour I would fade away again, my mind living out the memories from a life I once knew. For now, I would just wait.