Burn My Paranoia One Last Time

42. Empty Victory

The murmurs grow louder, and a few gasps sound out. I poke my head up. Will they finally acknowledge me?

Nobody looks at me. I turn towards Darren, whose dejected gaze is fixated on his lap. He suddenly tightens his lips and squints his eyes, and a tear rolls down his cheek. What in the world is happening?

"Oh.. Rain!" I hear a girl cry from the row behind him. My eyes widen. Could it be— can someone finally see me?

"Can you see me?" I shout towards the voice.

I see the girl who said my name start to cry as the girls on either side of her coax her gently.

"Are you ok?" They murmur. "It's going to be ok," another one murmurs.

I tilt my head back. Did I do something wrong?

Without looking at me, the girl wipes her tears. "It's just so sad... I can't believe she's gone."

My heart starts to pound out of anger. Whatever this prank is, it's stupid. "What do you mean gone? I'm literally standing right here!"

Why is everyone acting like this? As if I'm not here? Is it really so bad for Willowburg to give a scholarship to a girl like me? I earned it! How could they do this to me?

"I'm right here!" I glare up at the stage and shout at the principal.

His mouth hangs open as he continues to stare at the index card in disbelief. He stammers before flipping to the second card. He reads it quickly before looking up and clearing his throat. The crowd begins to settle down.

"As you all know, we lost an exemplary student two months ago due to a horrible tragedy. Rain Wilson was an honor rolls student, earning several..."

My legs tremble, and I feel as if the floor will give way underneath me. I steady my hand on the edge of the stage for balance. What... what horrible tragedy? How had two months passed already? I squint my eyes and silently beg the universe to wake me up from this horrifying nightmare. Please, please just let me wake up now. This can't be real...

"Right? Like, I can't believe she actually killed herself," a girl whispers somewhere nearby.

"Yea, did you see on the news she hung herself?"

"... so sick."

"I can't imagine..."

"Her parents must be heartbroken."

No. No. No. No. No. No. No no no no, no!

Stop. Please. Please, I want to wake up now. This isn't real. It can't be real.

"Our deepest condolences go out to the Wilson Family. The Award will go to the runner up instead, and that person is..." Principal McGregor flips to the next card.

This time, the friend on Darren's right pats his back and grins at him in an attempt to cheer him up, I suppose. "It's going to be yours, man!" He whispers.

Darren forces a smile and sighs before smoothing out his gown.

"Joel Larson! Congratulations, you are the runner up and recipient of the Annual Willowburg Merit Scholarship!"

The auditorium erupts into applause, and I catch the exact moment Darren's face falls. His sleek dress shoes squeak as he quickly shuffles back into a seated position.

"What? Who even is that?" A random girl says somewhere behind Darren and his friends.

"I don't know.. I've never heard of him," someone else replies.

"The fucking stoner kid? Are you serious?" The friend on Darren's right scoffs. "What a joke."

I watch in complete shock as Joel finally appears on stage and walks up to shake the Principal's hand and collect a certificate with his name on it.