XYREE'S POV
"so pa'no ba 'yan mi amor, i have to go" matthew said
"stop calling me mi amor" i said as i pout
"why?it's cute tho" he said
"cheee umalis kana nga kanina ka pa inaantay ng piloto oh! 'di porket private plane niyo 'yan paga-antayin mo na 'yung staffs niyo" i said
"excited ka namang umalis ako, ouch" he said at humawak pa sa dibdib niya na parang nasasaktan
tumawa naman ako kaya natawa din siya
"hay nako matt, umalis kana sige na shoooo!" i said
"alright i'll go ahead please take care of yourself i'll be back in a few weeks mi amor" he said
i just nodded
hinalikan niya naman ako sa noo at tuluyan nang naglakad palayo sa'kin
"maaattttt!" tawag ko sa pangalan niya
lumingon naman siya sa'kin kaya agad akong tumakbo palapit sa kanya at niyakap siya
"magiingat ka don and thank you for everything you've done" i said as i hugged him tight
"oh come on mi amor 'wag mo na akong pahirapan umalis" he said
"di naman ah, niyakap lang kita eh hmp!" i said
ginulo niya ang buhok ko
"i'll take care of myself and you should take care of yourself too, understand?" he said
"yes po" i said
he kissed my forehead for the last time
lumayo na ako mula sa eroplano at pinagmasdan itong mag-take off
kumaway pa muna ako bago tuluyang umalis doon at dumeretso sa parking lot
sasakay na sana ako sa kotse ko nang may marinig akong magsalita
"what a slut, nung nakaraan lang habol ka ng habol kay gavin tapos ngayon para kang linta kung maka-dikit kay matthew" she said
nilingon ko ang direksyon niya at nakita ko si celestia
"well that's better you've been chasing gavin since you were kids trying to make him fall inlove but guess what? since the day you came in his life he hated you, poor xyree hindi niya makuha 'yung lalaking gusto niya kaya lumandi nalang sa iba, i pity you" she said as she laughed
"oh and by the way baka ma-curious ka kung ba't ako nandito, actually kasama ko si gavin and his family they've invited me to come with them in canada para ma-meet ko 'yung grandparents ni gavin, aww kahit minsan ba ginusto kang ipakilala ni gavin sa grandparents niya? i bet he wouldn't even let you see them" she continued
"wala na akong pakialam kay gavin i'm with the man i know na hindi ako kayang saktan at pagsalitaan ng kung ano ano unlike him, that's why i'm focusing my feelings and time on matthew because i know he's more deserving than gavin, i don't give a fuck with him anymore, be with him hanggang sa mag-sawa siya sa'yo, now are you done with your shits? then i'm leaving you're wasting my time" mahaba kong lintanya
pumasok ako sa kotse ko at pinaandar ito, tears starts to fall in my eyes as i started driving
masyadong masakit ang mga sinabi ni celestia, i felt like i was stabbed a hundred of times
i drove to my favorite spot
this is where i go whenever i need space or sumn it's almost sunset
hindi totoong wala na akong pakealam kay gavin i still want him alam kong sobrang selfish ko because i'm giving matthew motives pero unti unti ko na talaga siyang nagu-gustuhan
i can't commit my feelings with matthew if i still have feelings for gavin, it's just that it's unfair
how can i get rid of this feeling? i want to be with the person who will never hurt me and i just know na si matthew 'yon
but how can i love him fully if i still love gavin!?
sobrang gulo na, ang sakit sa dibdib
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH FUCK YOU GAVIIIIIN!"
"I FUCKIIIING HAAATEEEE YOUUUUU!"
i stayed on my spot until it's dark before i drove my way back home
agad akong dumeretso sa kwarto ko at nag-kulong
narinig ko namang kumakatok sila mama at papa pero 'di ko sila pinagbuksan ng pinto
*phone vibrates*
"h-hello?" i said
"hi mi amor" narinig ko ang boses ni matthew sa kabilang linya
"matt" i started crying
"shhh hush, mi amor i know it hurts" he said, he really knows me
"it hurts so bad matt, i want to get rid of this pain" i said while crying
"i know, ikaw lang makaka-tulong sa sarili mo, all i can do is to comfort you so can you please stop crying? it hurts me hearing you cry over that dumbass" he said
i heard pain and anger in his voice
"i wish i was there to hug you tight and give you forehead kisses, i missed you already" he continued
napangiti naman ako sa sinabi niya he have this spot on my heart that i can't locate
"can you sing for me?" i asked
"what song?" he replied
"anything, i want to sleep" i said
"alright as you wish" he said
he started singing
I wished you the best of~
All this world could give~
And I told you when you left me~
There's nothing to forgive~
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was~
Heartbreak and misery~
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way~
You're happy without me~
why do i feel like he meant those lyrics?
oh matthew if only you knew how bad i want to give the same love that you're giving me
