Everything I Want To Say

funeral

I was furious. I wish they had arranged me with my arms crossed and my usual scowl, because the peaceful expression was disgustingly fake. Much like the rest of this funeral.

I had died young. It was an accident. Not my accident, of course. There were whispers of the circumstances, but none of the people here knew the actual story. Of course they wouldn't. Why would they? None of them talked to me.

Suddenly, my vision of the stained glass ceiling panel was blocked by a familiar face. Patricia. Or Patty to her "friends." I felt water hit my cold cheeks as she shed tears over me.

"I can't believe it. So young. I was so excited to graduate with you and now, you're gone." She choked on a sob. "We had known each other since preschool, you know." She sobbed to her friend, Lydia, who draped an arm around her in comfort and walked her away. Lydia glanced behind her at the body and shook her head sadly. I wished I could flip people off.

Next was Matt. Then Cynthia. Then Seth and Kyle and Christie and Madison. My entire class had shown up and they were all fake. Mostly. There were a few good people. Samantha, she was always nice to me. Jack was my math buddy, he and I had some good inside jokes. Nath was the first stranger that sat with my friend and I at lunch. Annabelle lent me good books, she had awesome taste.

Family and teachers, neighbors, coworkers, they were all there. I was flattered by the turn out, to be perfectly honest. I was never popular but the whole town had showed up. Probably because it was a small town and this was the most exciting thing that had happened in a long while. Whatever.

Suddenly, silence fell. I couldn't see what was happening. People had stopped visiting my body, so I could only assume it was time for talking. Voices washed over me. All important, I'm sure. My mom, my brother, my dad, all saying the sweet things they never would say to me while I was alive. I didn't care. I just wanted her to speak. She would know what to say.

"My friend died because of a drunk man with a gun." Her voice was bitter, angry at life for taking me so soon. My best friend. My soul sister, the one who always promised that we would be friends until the day we died. It came sooner than we expected. "She died for no reason. She was at the beginning of the prime of her life and she was shot and killed by an out of control man with an unregistered gun."

I heard murmuring in the audience. This was not your normal eulogy.

"And I can't believe the audacity most of you have, to turn up at her funeral. Like you cared about her. Like she mattered to you. Like you weren't all absolutely shitty to her!" My friend's voice rose as she riled herself up. "You're all shedding fake tears and giving me bullshit comfort over a person that none of you liked!!" She sighed and took a deep breath, centering herself. "She was my best friend. She supported me through thick and thin, we've been through more shit together than anyone else in this room." She went on for a while, but she deserved it. No one was going to cut her off.

I listened to her every word, mixed emotions washing over me. I was so proud of her spitfire attitude in this eulogy, calling their fake asses out. But suddenly, I realized that we would never see each other again.

"If you're listening, I miss you. I miss you so much. These assholes might be crying for you, but I know that you're flipping them off from wherever you are." She must have sat down after that, because she didn't say anything else.

~

Everyone else was gone. She was still here. She sat by my coffin and talked to me. The cemetery keeper didn't ask her to leave. The eulogy left a lasting impact.

I just wanted to reach out to her. To hug her one more time. I was tightly gripping to "reality" as I was being called to move on. One more minute, I begged the invisible forces. One more minute.

"I've got to go." She said finally, standing up. "And I'm sure you do too. I'll come visit you. As often as I can. Every week, at least. I hope... I hope you liked the eulogy."

She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. And then she was gone. I sighed. It was time. I closed my eyes for the final time and let her go.

Authors Note
I can't believe that my story has almost 2k reads. After not even one week! I was so happy I cried, I'm not even kidding🥺