15. In memory of...

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The pain never really goes away; you just elevate and get used to it by growing stronger.

Drew.

"I didn't hear all of it but her trailer was like shaking and there banging coming from inside," I explain as Chase and JD listen in.
"Yeah we were going to see what was happening, in case something was wrong, but we got called to makeup and didn't want to intrude," Austin says.
"God I wonder what happened," Chase says with a concerned face.
"Yeah so do I," I agree. "And I didn't fully see but Pete had like red marks all over his face, but I have no idea how that could have happened."

"Same I saw that, but I'm guessing that's what he was trying to cover with all the layers as he even put sunglasses on when we were filming," Austin adds.
"I mean Cam told me he has BPD but I don't  really know what that is or if that could cause anything like that," JD shrugs.
"Oh yeah I think she did mention something about that BPD thing to Drew and I," Austin says.
"Mmhmm," I state remembering that conversation we had when we'd had dinner at hers.



Pete.

I don't know how many times I apologised last night to Cami. I don't even know what happened I just lost control. Couldn't handle it anymore. I felt bad for Cami, she looked scared and I don't blame her. I would have been too. She's been so understanding and I will be forever grateful that's she's in my life.

When I wake up my hand automatically reaches over to her side of the bed. It was my favourite feeling waking up next to her. My hand can only feel mattress as I feel around for her. I look over and see an empty space. My face frowns as I throw on a hoodie and trudge out out the bedroom with my boxers on.

I give a quick glance round the living room when I see Cam sat against the wall, looking out the floor length window with a sad gaze.
"You okay baby?" I ask sitting down on the floor next to her.
"It's today," she replies without looking to me.
"Erm yes Cam, that's usually what it is?" I say confused.
"Cameron."

At that moment I knew what she meant. Today was the 2 year anniversary of Cameron Boyce's death. Her best friend for so many years. I knew there was nothing in this moment I could say, so instead I wrapped my arms round her curled up body, laying her head on my chest.





Camila.

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