MY LOVE SONGS FOR YOU, IT'S JUST FAREWELL, NOT GOODBYE & their short stories

BABY, I'M SORRY

April 19th, 2021 - Happy anniversary, Peraya. It's been somber and grey days from that day until tonight. What a roller coaster ride, a milkshake in a blender.

Tonight is April 23rd, 2021 - My heart broke a piece, again, but this time, the shard is sharp, it pierced through before falling. I'm sure it left a permanent scar. I understand many others know the feeling, had felt, are feeling the same way, but many don't have the heart to show and say it. We're not cowards, we just care too much...

I love this song, always melts to a dark puddle whenever I hear it...

BAO BEI, DUI PU CHI (Baby 對不起) - BABY, I'M SORRY
COCO LEE 

作词 Lyrics: Coco Lee/楼南蔚
作曲 Composer: Omar Alfanno

听到我的电话 响了一声就暂停
Tīng dào wǒ de diàn huà xiǎng le yī shēng jiù zàn tíng
Heard my cell phone ring once and then suddenly stop. My running feet stop, too. I stand there. My hand froze on top of it. So is my mind... and my heart. I dreaded the sound but at the same time, I want it to ring, I need it to beep, I want it to... keep making a sound... please, ring again.

会不会是你 我总怀疑
Huì bù huì shì nǐ wǒ zǒng huái yí
Was it you? I wonder every time. But, I always hope it was you. I wish it were you. And maybe it was you. Do you still remember me, want to call me, talk with me?

因为这原因 心情不稳定
Yīn wèi zhè yuán yīn xīn qíng bù wěn ding
And it makes me uncomfortable. Why am I hoping too much? Why am I expecting? But, is it wrong to wish?

我们之间的问题 是我不相信你
Wǒ men zhī jiān de wèn tí shì wǒ bù xiāng xìn nǐ
Our problem is that I don't trust you. I always did, but this time, maybe... I have run out of my trust. Because I have always given it to you, over and over. I need your trust too to replenish mine.

敏感又多心 怕你变了心 
Mǐn gǎn yòu duō xīn pà nǐ biàn le xīn
Emotional, oversensitive, I'm afraid your heart changes. You have become someone I don't know, a person I don't recognize. Why, why are you no longer the person that I've known all this time. The person I love.

因为爱你 害怕失去你
Yīn wèi ài nǐ hài pà shīqù nǐ
Because I love you and I fear losing you. And I don't want to lose you. I want you to stay, don't go

爱的天气 总是阴晴不定
Ài de tiān qì zǒng shì yīn qíng bù dìng
Love's weather is always unpredictable. I understand, I know a person can change. The heart can change. But I wish ours don't change. I want us to stay the same.

爱的情绪 也在欢笑中哭泣
Ài de qíng xù yě zài huān xiào zhōng kū qì
And love's moody, you can dissolve into tears in the midst of laughter. I know that, I've done that. People saw my smile and laughter when inside I felt like crashing down. Why am I crying when I'm supposed to laugh? Why am I silent when I'm supposed to pour my heart out?

Bao bei... 

想对你说声对不起 
Xiǎng duì nǐ shuō shēng duì bù qǐ
I'd like to tell you I'm sorry. From deep down my heart, I want to say I'm sorry.

用错了方式去爱你 
Yòng cuò le fāng shì qù ài nǐ 
For not loving you the right way. My love may not be enough to make you happy, my love could be dragging you down when it suppose to raise you. I suppose to put you on the highest pedestal and adore you, not keeping you on the lowest ground.