Be There Still [ ON-GOING ]

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L E V I

PAGKARINIG ko pa lang na may mangyayaring ball kaninang umaga ay buo na agad ang desisyon kong hindi ako pupunta. But… my mind was altering. It feels like I should be there to guide her if may mangyari man. I was walking back in forth in my room, nag-iisip kung ano nga ba ang dapat na gawin.

Should I come? Or not? Should I? Or not?

It was one of the hardest conflicts I faced in my entire life, nang dahil lang sa ball. I sat on my bed, looking directly on my phone with a number written on it.

Demi. It wasn’t expected but Miss Cruz, her therapist, gave her number to me to keep in touch with her all the time since we’re batch mates at magkalapit lamang ang aming room. I don’t know, it feels like a blessing-in-disguise having her phone number without asking it from her.

“Should I call her?” Pagtatanong ko sa sarili. Hindi ko napansing napindot ko na ang dial button kakaisip, nagulat na lang ako nung biglang nag-ring ang dial tone. I modulated my voice in order to hear fresh and decent on the other line when she picked up the call.

“Hello?” Sambit niya na nagpanginig sa kamay ko nang biglaan. “Sino ‘to?”

“Si Levi ‘to, Miss Cruz gave me your number for emergency purposes.” I uttered back.

“Ah…” Then it followed by a silence. Ang awkward pala, bakit hindi ko muna ‘to naisip bago siya tawagan?

“So… will you go to the ball?” Pamputol ko ng katahimikan.

“Oo, ikaw?” Tanong niya na nagpaisip sa’kin. “Levi, nand’yan ka pa ba?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I think so, I think I’ll come.”

Segundo ang lumipas ngunit wala sa aming dalawa ang may lakas ng loob na magtanong kung may partner na ba ang isa’t-isa. I want to ask her, but how? Inuunahan ako ng kaba, but why am I nervous in the first place? It’s just a ball, I just want to keep her safe.

“Do you have a partner?” Shit. I haven’t controlled my mouth to speak. “Don’t answer me, it’s unnecessary though…”

“I haven’t.” My eardrums rang after hearing those words. Outside my body, I feel calm. But deep inside, I felt like I won a lottery prize.

“I don’t have, too. Maybe, if you’re okay with it, why don’t we become partners instead. Well, it’s just a ball but what I think of is your safety…” I uttered those words a bit fast than the usual, little did I know namamawis na pala ako.

“Sure.” She cut me off. “Tatanugin nga sana kita bukas kung may partner ka na, ikaw lang naman yung talagang kilala ko sa lahat.” I can’t force myself not to smile. “Siguro, we’ll meet in the library na lang. I have something to read in there before the ball starts.”

“Okay, goodnight.” I uttered then she ended the call. I lay on my bed as if I was laying on Cloud 9, at nakatulog ako nang hindi naghahapunan.

Days went off and the ball is coming to a start, it was scheduled at eight in the evening as what I’ve read in our group chat. Pagkatapos kong mag-almusal ay agad akong nagtungo sa isang tailoring shop. I bought some formal wears such as tuxedo, long sleeves, polo, tie and such. I have some kind of those fits but I left them in Washington so I need to buy new ones.

Later that night, I prepared. I turned off the shower, went outside the bathroom and dried up my wet body. I looked at the mirror, checking if I look decent enough for the ball to come. I entered my room, seeing my topless body at the reflection of the other mirror.