How do we move on from this?

4.

Meredith and Derek stayed frozen in the seats of their car. Looking at the front of their house. Derek had finally convinced Meredith it was time to go home but now he had to get her into the house. He placed his hand on her thigh and squeezed it, feeling both of her hands wrap around his.

"We can do this. We can do this. We can do this." Derek heard Meredith whispering to herself over and over again.

"Come on Mer, let's go in." Derek forced Meredith to look at him and watched as she nodded before they both exited the car together.

They met at the front on the car where their hands joined together and they slowly made their way up to their front door. The door creaked open and the silenced engulfed Meredith and she began to shake, fresh tears springing to her eyes. Derek reached out and took her hand in his.

"Hey, it's alright we can do this." He slowed moved the two of them into the hall of the house. The door creaked open and they stepped in together. Derek squeezed Meredith's hand as he heard her gasp.

The hall was decorated with Sophie's small shoes, her favourite pink jacket was hanging on the rack and one of her teddies was abandoned on the floor by the door entering the living room. Meredith swallowed back deeply, trying to stop the bile from rising even further.

"I...I can't." Meredith whispered in a broken tone, turning to Derek looking for help. "This was our home and now it just feels so empty. Please Derek don't make me." Meredith turned to Derek with tear filled eyes.

"Mer." He cupped her face in his hands. "We will do this together. Whatever pace you want."

"I just want to go to bed, please." He nodded before wrapping his arm around her shoulder and guiding her up the steps.

Meredith's eyes lingered on the door leading to Sophie's room, walking straight past it. Once they reached their room Meredith collapsed on to the bed and her eyes shut immediately. Derek sat and brushed his fingers through her hair and stayed until she was asleep.

He pushed himself off the edge of the bed before moving downstairs, he grabbed beer from the picture and let his exhausted body collapse into his chair. His chair. Where he would sit with Sophie curled up in his arms, reading stories or watching films together. He couldn't hold back the sob that complete racked his body, he was broken. A broken man and he wasn't ashamed to admit it.

He sat and he cried, for what seemed like hours, until he couldn't physically cry anymore. There was a  quiet knock on the door and Derek placed his beer down before moving to answer the door. Opening the door he smiled sadly at the person standing on the other side.

"Cristina." He held the door open for her and allowed her to walk in.

"Shep. I brought food." She handed over the bags and smiled as Derek took them. She smiled sadly at him before shoving her hands in her pockets. "How's Mer?"

"How do you think she is!" Derek snapped before rubbing his hand over his face and shaking his head. "I'm sorry, I've hardly slept in a week. Mer's sleeping at the minute but you can stay." They moved towards the kitchen together where Derek placed the bags down and turned to hand Cristina a beer before grabbing himself another one.

They sat in silence, sipping at their beers.

"It's horrible how quiet it is." Derek looked up at Cristina with red eyes. "I'm use to Sophie begging me to have a tea party and then she would make me wear that little sparkly crown." They smiled at the happy memories. "She is the only child I would wear a sparkly crown for and pretend to sip tea." Their smiles died down when the realisation hit them once again. "God, I miss that little rugrat." Cristina wiped at her eyes.

"We miss her too." They turned to find Meredith standing at the kitchen door. She moved over slowly and immediately went into Derek's arms, her back resting against his chest and his arms wrapping round her tightly.

Derek kissed the side of Meredith's head and breathed her in, zoning out as Meredith and Cristina spoke.

Cristina stayed until she was paged away to the hospital leaving Meredith and Derek alone once again. They stayed sitting together, hand in hand looking straight ahead not talking.

Normally, their nights would consist of running round after Sophie, giggling as she splashed them in the tub before they all settled down and cuddled in Sophie's bed. They would usual wake up and she would be in their bed in the morning, cuddled into Meredith's arms.

Now that was gone. All gone. They had no idea how they would get past this.