How do we move on from this?

12.

Meredith woke up the next morning, alone. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and pushed her body into a sitting position. The sun was cutting through the slits in the curtain and she frowned at the quietness of the house. She pushed herself out of the bed, slipping on her slippers and shuffling around the house until she finally reached the kitchen.

Grabbing her coffee cup, she poured herself a fresh cup and took a large sip before moving to spit it down the sink. Even though she hadn't decided what she was going to do about this baby, she didn't want to harm it any way. She knew a bit of coffee wouldn't hurt but still. Her belly rumbled and she moved to make herself some toast. Staring out the window as she buttered the pieces of bread, waiting for any sign of Derek coming home.

"Mer..." his voice rang out and she eventually turned to find Derek standing there, hands behind his back.

"You didn't come last night." Meredith crossed her arms over her chest.

"I know, I'm sorry. Dad wouldn't let me drive home, so I crashed at theirs." He rubbed his hand on the back of his head, looking down at the floor. "You needed me and I ran, I was so selfish."

Meredith moved across the kitchen, ran her hands up and down his arm before shoving. Then she wrapped him tight in her arms, breathing him in. Derek sighed a huge sigh of relief and didn't hesitate to wrap her securely in his arms.

"Whatever you decide Mer, I will be right by your side, every step and holding your hand." He kissed the top of her head as watched as she leaned back so they were face to face.

"Derek, this isn't just my decision to make. Yes it's my body but this is our baby, ours." She reached down and grabbed his hand. "I can't make this decision on my own Derek, I can't. So please, don't push me away." She squeezed his hand tight.

"I'm not pushing you away Mer, but I will never ever force you to have another baby, but honestly I want this baby, I do." He reached out to tuck the hair behind her ear. "We can do this, we can."

Derek watched as Meredith bit her lip, looked between their hands linked together and then back up to his face and smiled.

"I want this baby too." Meredith almost whispered to him. Smiling widely he bent down and picked her up, spinning her round listening as she squealed. He finally placed her down on the floor and pressed his lips to hers. "I need you to be my side through all of this cause I...I can't- nothing can go wrong with this baby Derek, I can't go through that pain again." Her voice wobbled and tears sprung to her eyes.

Derek cupped her face in both of his hands and directed her face so their eyes met directly.

"Nothing is going to go wrong, alright." He watched as she hesitated before nodding her head. "Me, you and this baby are a team, Sophie would want us to be happy. She would want to be a big sister." He pulled Meredith tight into his arms as their tears started to flow.

"I don't want to tell anyone yet." Meredith whispered into his chest. She pulled back from his chest and looked into his eyes. "I can't have everyone knowing, this-I need this to be our little secret, just for a bit. Please?" Meredith pleaded with him.

"Ok." Derek whispered back before brushing his lips against hers softly. "I love you." He spoke quietly to her as their lips were still connected.

"I love you too." Meredith pulled apart and buried her head back into his chest, her safe place. They stayed standing together, arms wrapping tightly around one another, keep one another together.