How do we move on from this?

9.

Meredith walked round the house, the washing basket resting on her hip as she walked up the stairs. She stopped at the top of the stairs right outside Sophie's room, the door still closed and the room undisturbed. No one had entered the room since that day. She reached out and placed her hand on the handle but didn't move any further. Taking a deep breath, she pushed off the door and continued down to her room.

Putting the clothes away, her eyes kept diverting to the door that led into Sophie's room. She placed down the pair of trousers in her and placed them down gently on the bed, her eyes never leaving the door. Her feet began her journey over to the room and finally, placed her hand on the door, pushing it open and listening as it creaked open.

Meredith leaned on the door and took a huge deep breath in, biting her lower lip. The room was the exact same way as Sophie had left it, the blanket lay rumpled on the bed, her teddy resting on the bed and the curtains still opened. Her toys were piled high in their boxes and her books lay on the shelf. She was in her own trance when she felt a pair of hands wrap around her waist and a chin rested on her shoulder. A pair of lips pressed into her neck and she leaned back into the body.

"You alright?" Derek whispered into her ear and squeezed his arms tight around her. Meredith's body relaxed in his arms.

"Yeah, just...it's hard." Meredith held back the tears and then turned in Derek's arms so her face was buried in his chest. Derek ran his hand over the top of her head and then leaned down to press his lips to her head.

"I know." He squeezed her tight. "Do you want to go in?" He leaned back and looked down into her eyes.

"Come in with me,please." Her eyes met his, pleading with him, squeezing his hand.

Derek pulled out of Meredith's arms, keeping his hands in hers. They stepped in together, before Meredith pulled her hand out of his and moved to run her hands over the bed.

"We should tidy in here, make it nice but leave everything where it is. It's just, this was Sophie's room, we should keep it as Sophie's room." Meredith kept her eyes on the bed, reaching out to pick up the teddy, bringing it to her face and breathing in deeply.

Derek joined her at her side, his arm slipping round the lower of her back.

"Of course, we can do whatever you want." He pulled her body to his and kissed the side of her head. "I'm going to start making dinner, I'll come and get you when it's ready." Derek watched as Meredith nodded her head before he brushed his lips against hers and moved downstairs.

Derek moved round the kitchen and cooked up a quick dinner of chicken and vegetables. Meredith was finally back to eating which was a weight off of Derek's shoulders. He dished up the dinner and moved to the bottom of the stairs.

"Mer!" Derek shouted up the stairs but was met with silence. "Mer, dinners ready!" He waited for a reply but with only receiving silence back, he moved himself up the stairs. 

Derek stopped at the door, leaned on the frame and smiled safely at Meredith's small figure curled up in Sophie's bed. Dried tears stained her face and her forehead crinkled as she slept. He knew she needed sleep, so he pushed off the frame and pulled the blanket up to cover her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Dinner could wait as Derek moved outside with a glass of scotch, sitting down on the porch. The sun was beginning to set as he looked out at their garden, raising the glass to his lips. They had plans to have another baby soon and had been trying but now that would have to wait. Actually, he didn't think they would ever have another baby ever again. He couldn't put Meredith through that.

The scotch in his glass drained slowly as he kept raising the glass up to his lips, before finally taking himself back inside. Derek then took himself off to bed, alone. Being on his own allowed his thoughts and he cried once again.

They say time heals pain but it just didn't seem to the case for Meredith and Derek. This pain would never heal.