Dark Abyss

Chapter 21: Skeptical Beauty

{ music }

panic! at the disco_hallelujah

hurts_miracle

jay z ft. justin timberlake_holy grail

david guetta ft. sia_she wolf ( falling to pieces )

m83 ft. haim_holes in the sky

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This Tuesday was the most tedious. My sinister bed convinced me about the comfort it provided while Jane Austen's 'Sense and Sensibility' accompanied my futile morning. Lady Antebellum resonated through the room in a soothing melody that led me to lay down and close my eyes. It made me reminisce the days I used to do stuff like this with Melissa.

"You hear depressing shit. I'm going to introduce you to my mixtape of Katy Perry and Fall Out Boy happy songs." My redheaded friend exasperated. We found ourselves laying on the white carpet floor of her bedroom staring at the ceiling that was decorated in a myriad hues of glow-in-the-dark stars. Kelly Clarkson's 'Because Of You' was playing melancholically through the MP3 player her parents had gotten her, the decision made by me.

"Okay, those two correspond in completely different CD's, what is your problem?" I retaliated while laughing myself. Her fluid giggles echoed through the room in an eloquence I envied since the first time I heard her.

"It is called a mixtape after all."

Not having someone to whom I can talk to about alternative subjects and connect with made life dull. In the past I had Melissa and Karen to bother with idle problems. Then I just had Melissa once Karen left for early admission. Yet, now I don't have someone.

It took life's spark away; suffocating the flame which used to keep me up. All hope of one day reoccurring with Karen and Melissa had vanished along with that flicker. The truth would immerse into my brain with every tick of the second I survived in here. I wasn't going back to them anymore. Knowing didn't relinquish the pain, though.

By noon my stomach decided I was hungry, growling with predatory ravenous while my head pounded in acute strikes that had me almost falling to the floor. It took some serious mathematical equations to figure out the last day I ate a proper meal before I was brought here.

I worked hastily to cook an oatmeal and dip a meager cup of vanilla yogurt atop with blueberries. My hands reacted at a blistering pace, consuming the palatable meal in a blink of the eye. It was a scrumptious contrast between the sour flavor of the blueberries and the pleasure the oats presented.

After washing the few dishes on the sink, I sat down in the stool as my mind wandered off. It made me think of the old memories hidden way behind my brain when Karen and I used to spend time together.

"You're actually really good at this." She complimented as I lowered the pan full of cookies into the preheated oven. What began as a group experiment between her and me ended as my own baking.

"I know I am." I jest whilst helping her scour the grotty dishes utilized in the process.

"So that's what you wanna be when you grow up? A chef." My friend asked. It came easy for her to question about something she held power over.

"Not even. I want to be a creative writer; help people dive into an entire new world so they can escape their reality, yanno? Or be a lyricist to some of the biggest musical acts in the globe. Still haven't decided much, yet." I answered with a slight tremble to my voice. No one knew about my dream job because I made sure no one found out. It was the only thing that was mine so far. That I held to be mine close to my heart.