𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 - Ginny and Georgia

32

With her eyes tightly shut and her breathing quick, she tried to compose herself as much as possible.
It was as if she was inside of a fragile bubble, doing everything for it to not break. But, the second she closed her bedroom door the bubble burst, and everything went completely black. Next thing she knew she was standing in the middle of the room surrounded by broken belongings and all of her things everywhere.

"Great" She muttered to herself as she ran her fingers through her hair frustratedly. She scanned the room with a frown that only a second later oddly turned into a smile. "Fucking great"

She slid down the door until she met the cold floor, putting her face in her hands. There was a knock on the door, she ignored it.

"Amelia, please let me in!" Her mother spoke out desperately, not being able to simply walk in because the door was locked.

"Go away!"

She heard footsteps getting further and further away until she heard nothing. She shook her head in disbelief as a small chuckle escaped her lips, the small chuckle quickly turned into full-blown laughter.

It was far away from being laughter of joy.

Since the day her father died her mother had said the cause was a car accident and it was scary how convincing she had been, how easily she could hide and lie about her husband's real cause of death. The truth however was far more devastating than the lie because it meant her father was willing to leave it all behind, his wife and his kid. She didn't understand, he always seemed so happy. But, then again so did she.

Her chest was aching and it felt as if she couldn't breathe as her surroundings had completely disappeared and she was sitting in dark nothingness.

The laughter turned into heavy sobs and all the shit that she had been holding in for weeks seemed to pour out. Her blurry sight landed on the top drawer of her nightstand and she felt a heavy sense of need, of something that could numb all the heartache, all the pain within her. She couldn't handle it.

She had done so well, she had stopped drinking although it was one of the things she thought about the most. And, it was all for him. Was she really going to throw away the progress she had made for temporary relief? But then again, the only other sense of comfort wasn't there, and if she didn't find a way to cope she didn't know what she'd end up doing.

Hesitantly, she got up, her feet leading her over to the nightstand although her mind was fighting for her to turn around. Her hand reached over to the first drawer opening it to reveal a vodka bottle.
Her sobbing turned louder, some of the tears dripping onto the floor as she stared at the bottle knowing she'd let herself completely go again if she chooses to take it.

She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears before her shaky hands took a hold of it, her gaze landing on a bottle of pills hidden behind it, her mother's. She had only taken two of them before, just to try it but hadn't touched them after that.

She sat back leaned onto the door, the vodka bottle in one hand and the pill bottle in the other. With teary eyes and a frown upon her face, she opened both of them, taking out six of the pills and downing them one after one accompanied by the burning sensation of liquor she had so deeply missed.

"Amelia?" A voice let out causing her to jump and drop the two pills left in her hand onto the floor. Her eyes traveled over to the source of the sound only to be met with Marcus standing there in nothing but shock.

No, no, no, he wasn't supposed to see this.

She got up on her feet in a flash, her eyes moving from him and onto the pills and bottle on the floor in panic. The room was completely quiet except for the sound of her heavy breathing.

"What are you doing?" He questioned, his voice shaky and low as he took in the state of her face. Her eyes were puffy and her lips turned downward, she had been crying.

She didn't want him to see her like this, at her absolute lowest. She probably looked like a mess and she couldn't help but wonder how someone could ever like someone as fucked as her. She imagined how disappointed he must be, how he most likely regretted ever starting something with her. All she wanted to do was hide, she felt her face burning up and the shame rushing through her. She had promised him she would stop.

If only he had been there five minutes before, then everything would be completely different.

But, to not get pushed away she needed to push him away.

"Why...why are you here Marcus?"

"I-uh..."

"I knew I was right. This thing between us...this bullshit friends with benefits thing between us with all the damn lying Isn't healthy. It's fucking draining" She blurted out in a yell. She was putting up a metal fence around her in an attempt to keep him out, and although it was cold and dark within it, it was far better than being hurt or rejected.

"Amelia..." He muttered fragilely his eyes darting onto the floor so she wouldn't see the hurt within them.

"Don't "Amelia" me, I'm serious! Prove me wrong, what do you want to say?"

His eyes traveled from the floor and onto her as he studied her face. Mascara was stained under her red eyes, her lips were swollen and her eyebrows were creased in anger. She looked like a mess, but he didn't find her any less breathtaking. He walked closer, wiping the tear away from her cheek as he breathed out. "I think I love you"

Her eyes widened as the words left his lips and Marcus found himself hoping she would stand there and simply lean into his hand, but she didn't. She turned around with a shake of her head.

"No, you don't!" She chuckled out in disbelief as she turned back around. "This has been nothing but a game to you since day one. You'll probably just replace me when you're bored like you did with Padma"

"Why are you drinking again? You were doing so great?" Marcus asked weakly instead of focusing on what she said, he didn't want to break down.

But, she was in defensive mode, still in shock over him seeing her, and so nothing he said or did at that moment could make her calm down.

"I don't know why I was interested in you! Everything was fine when we were friends until you had to mess up everything. I didn't start drinking until you. And, the worst thing is that you're incapable of feeling anything real, you just ruin things!" She yelled out, her mind turning completely black. She was unable to see the hurt she was inflicting upon him, how his face was trembling and how he was on the verge of crying.

He stood frozen in place, feeling like all he wanted to do was jump off a building. She had confessed his feelings for her and all she did was blurt out these awful things in return.

"Get out!" He still stood still. She moved closer "I said get out!" He felt the tears coming on and so he turned around and walked over the window, climbing out with nothing but hurt in his chest and a deep feeling of rejection.