Better Than I'd Thought | Sally Face x Travis Phelps

eight

..-. .- -.-. . .-.-.-

   Sal jumped to his feet, forgetting about the exchange that he had with Ashley almost immediately. "Travis, wait!" He exclaimed, causing everyone to turn their heads towards him as he leaped down the hall.

   "Is something wrong?" He asked gently, speaking through the door.

   "Back off, Sally Face," Travis grumbled, sitting with his back against the doorframe.

   Sal frowned. "You can tell me. We're too far away for them to hear anything if that's what you're worried about."

   "I'm not worried about anything." He lied, dropping his face in his hands. The bathroom smelt of lavender, as Sal had set up an essential oils diffuser in there a week or two ago.

   "Well, " he pressed his palm against the door, "You seem upset, and I care about you, so-"

   "Oh, come on."  Travis scoffed.

"What? I do..." Sal furrowed his brows, hands pressed against the door. "I know that we have sort of a rough past, but you've lived here for a while now and... We became a lot closer, I think..."

"It's not enough." Travis barked, balling his hands into fists. His head dropped, and he closed his eyes, heart racing. "It'll never be enough."

"If..." Sal began, "If you wanna spend more time together, we can do that, man."

"No, " Travis groaned, "You don't understand, Sal."

"Please, I want to know why you're upset," Sal begged. "Maybe I could fix it."

   "I'm pissed off!" He shouted.

     "At me?" Sal asked.

    "No..." Travis sighed, threading his hand through his hair.

    "At Larry?"

    "Sal, no."

     "Ash?"

     "No."

    "Then who?" Sal mumbled. "I doubt you'd have any reason to be mad at Todd, so-"

   "No, Sal! I'm," his voice wavered for a moment, "I'm mad at myself."

He paused for a moment, listening to the bustling voices of his friends in the living room. This was more important. "Why?" he asked.

"Because!" Travis felt his emotions begin to overwhelm him. Typically, such a thing resulted in anger, but today, it only made him want to cry. "Because I liked that day."

"What day?"

"You know; when we watched the movie." He groaned, giving up. "I can't believe I'm telling you this. I-"

"No, no, it's okay," Sal said. "I just don't understand. We could watch another movie... We could even do that tonight. Would that make you happier?"

"No!" Travis yelled. "You still don't get it!"

Sal grimaced. How could I understand? You're not saying anything, he thought. "You're mad at yourself because you liked that night when we watched the movie?"

"I'm mad because it wasn't the movie that made me happy!" Travis spun his head around to look at the door, fully aware that the boy on the other side couldn't see him.

He paused for a moment, eyes drawn to the floor. "I was happy because I got to hold your hand, and... I was happy because you fell asleep on my shoulder."

"Trav," Sal mumbled, eyes wide.

"But that's not it. I was happy when you took care of me after I got punched in the face. Not because it made my eye hurt less, but because you were the one doing it." He grimaced.

Sal leaned against the door, slightly shocked. He wasn't sure what to say. He didn't think anyone could feel that way about him.

"And," Tears ran down his face silently. He tried to keep his voice still so that Sal wouldn't know that he was crying. "I'm so angry, b-because I liked those things so much, because it was you, and... A boy shouldn't feel that way."

Travis sighed, wiping his tears away. "But, away from my father, I keep feeling more and more like," He felt a lump in his throat, "like I don't care anymore." He pulled his knees to his chest. "It's terrifying."

All that came from the other side of the door was silence, and as Travis waited for a response, one never came.

__

   Ever since the accident, Sal had one reoccurring belief: It was extremely unlikely that anyone would fall in love with him.

   In his eyes, he didn't have much going for him. He wasn't the smartest or the fastest or the tallest, or the most talented, and his face, well... He certainly wasn't conventionally attractive, or attractive in any way, for that matter.

   Why would anyone love him romantically? Sure, Sal had his fair share of crushes as a kid, but imaginably, they were all one sided.

   But Travis, he was the first person to have feelings for him. Sal had trouble believing that it was true. It went against his single, undeniable belief about himself.

   Perhaps, it was the fact that it was Travis that made it even more unbelievable. Travis, the son of a preacher. The same Travis that was at times violently homophobic, had feelings for him?